#bipride

So, I don’t date often, because I’m atrocious at it (one day, I will do an entire post on this), but when I do, it is with all kinds of people.

My only real requirement is that they’re nice to me, and won’t talk during horror movies.

When I was a kid, I had literally never heard of anything but heterosexual relationships. This wasn’t because I grew up in an environment that enforced that on me, but because there was nothing but straight couples in movies and television shows, also because I never really discuss “the feels” with anybody but myself.
When I had sex education at school, it was pretty basic. They told us how things work (in a very heteronormative way as I remember), told us a few facts about menstruation (not enough, because I’m STILL learning about that), and the basics about contraception. I had more questions, and was too afraid to google it and give my family the wrong idea if someone checked the browser history, so I took a deep breath (several, actually) and asked my mum.

She answered a lot of questions, and added something I hadn’t been taught, and hadn’t considered. She told me that some people had relationships with people of their own gender.

It had never occurred to me before, and there was a little part of me that thought she had made it up to check I had been listening, but she assured me that it was definitely a thing, and I went away to think deeply about all I had learned.
You should know that my deep thinking never lasts for more than about an hour before my attention span gives out on me, but I did think about it from time to time.

It wasn’t until I was about 19 that I realised that more than the practicality of a same sex relationship (I vaguely knew where everything was on a woman, but men were still a mystery, emotionally and physically) appealed to me. I had dated exclusively men at this point, but I met a woman, and I was instantly captivated by her. When we talked, I got the same overwhelming rush that I had with previous boyfriends, and after a while, I realised that I wasn’t just interested in being her friend.

I had done some more research by this point, perhaps subconsciously to figure out who I was, and realised that I was probably bisexual.

Unfortunately, nothing came of my first female attraction, but since then, I’ve had little things here and there (due to the aforementioned lack of girlfriending skills I possess), with both men and women. Awareness of all kinds of sexuality has risen since my childhood, as well as representation, and I’ve learned far more than I think my school intended about sexuality, gender, biology, and a whole bunch of other cool stuff.

If my mum had never mentioned it, I imagine that I would have been confused, and probably upset by the first time I was attracted to a woman, and that is why representation and awareness is important. Humans are cool as hell, but they’re complex as hell too, and there are so many formulas that make up humans, and things that can differ, that all of them deserve awareness and representation, so that nobody has to go through life without the resources to understand who they are, because while love is a whole lot of fun, it can be frightening when you feel like you’re doing it wrong. There is no wrong way to love, but not everyone is as fortunate as I was to have someone to explain that.

I wish love and happiness for everyone I meet. It makes the world go round, after all, and the world needs to keep moving, as does the push for equal awareness and equal love.

I hope you find love, and whoever it is with, I hope it’s as wonderful as you are.

Besos,

J x

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