Kicking And Screaming
Divorce
Lost In Translation
Papi
Language
Half Brother
Schoolyard
Sleepover
Dress
Carrie, Pls.
Jetplane, or to be more precise, an old skoda.
Library Books
Drama Llama
Sleepless In Manchester
Lulla-Boy-Bye
Bridge
Trees
Just Right
Oh my God, why?
Lord
Expecting
Paging Dr. Gold
Tea and Biscuits
Silver Judas
Everything Except Accept
Inked
Dedication
For the man I will one day love, hurry up. And for the iguana I will eventually buy and care for more than I do that man.
Kicking And Screaming
Well, this is embarrassing.
Dressed, red, sheer, screams.
Stressed, alive, tears, breathes.
Obsessed, survive, years, dreams.
I just went from “yooooooo” to “omg no” in about two seconds.
-x-
Divorce
I sleep to shouts,
My snooze counsels,
You see, I am the chosen one,
And I will fix everything.
I conduct electricity,
Through delicate hands,
All it takes, Is some ice cream.
I will teach you love,
For a day off school,
Until you can learn no more,
And I have to.
-x-
Lost In Translation
Waves are the same,
In every language,
And smiles, And bribery.
I am leaving,
So try to be a grown up,
And smile, And bribe me.
Goodbye is the same,
In our special language,
But not smiles,
And certainly not bribery
-x-
Papi
Beach breakfast,
Broken windows,
He is alive in gunshots,
Awake in blood stains.
He dies in “Hey, new kid, where’s your dad?”
-x-
Language
She Says “hello.”
I say “triste.”
Fuuuuuuuuudge.
Live in lorry.
Wait, a plane.
I’m on a plane.
Keep bloody swearing.
She pulls verbal wings,
I will try, Again.
She hugs me often,
With lavender arms,
There is no tequila,
So we have milk,
And cereal.
Bad news.
I’m slower than other kids,
If I hear one more joke,
About bullfighting,
I’ll see red.
It remains in my head.
I can figure it out.
It’s under my hair.
And scabs from rough games.
English.
-x-
Half Brother
Snow boy,
I am sand.
You are lonely.
We talk in blocks,
And in shared sweets.
-x-
Schoolyard
Sleep starved legs,
From running mind,
It grabs you,
Because you make sense.
Easy steps,
They come easier,
With your hair,
With vanilla scent.
You don’t laugh,
Tongue and leg stumbles,
Your sweet laugh,
Is only for play.
-x-
Sleepover
Padlocked fingers,
Awake,
Unaware of waking,
Waking torment,
That awaits.
You rest,
Restless,
On my mind,
I don’t mind,
I cry,
“Stay.”
We kiss.
-x-
Dress
She rests on me,
Snow on a roof.
We cling when I walk.
We breathe together.
In. Out. In. Out.
Sometimes, we forget to.
She dances constantly.
I stand.
She longs for me,
When we part.
I hate to be so free.
When we meet,
She holds all of me.
My darling.
-x-
Carrie, Pls.
18:00 and tense.
I wear her out,
For the first time.
I wish, they had drowned me in blood,
Instead of stares and vomit noises.
-x-
Jetplane, or to be more precise, an old skoda.
Clear,
pale still sleeps,
Just where you left her.
She also got tanned,
Got up, Got out,
And she’s sorry.
Except she’s not,
Because this is like school,
When you shut the door,
Got up, Got out,
And weren’t sorry.
It’s for the best,
I power up my jetplane,
It stutters and coughs,
Gets up, Gets out,
And isn’t sorry.
-x-
Library Books
I pour over you,
Your page is vanilla,
And I’ve always liked that.
For hours on end,
I am lost in your words,
And the creases I find.
-x-
Drama Llama
Man cub’s fur,
Masks his fear.
His heels are out,
On the town,
On the prowl,
Even though hunting is done.
The days remain,
As scripts demand.
He runs through,
Jungles of commitment.
His eyes,
lost to cleaving blows to the head.
My cameras watch,
Directors paw him,
Content he lies,
For an evening,
On a rug of absolute worked shoots.
-x-
Sleepless In Manchester
Eyes rest where lips linger,
Sleep stolen by anger,
Desperate demons rest between legs.
I wonder if it shows.
Your flesh hears my finger,
Their siren call is a whirlpool,
Curiosity, raging and violent.
Howling to the night,
bubbling.
I seek you out,
chase you through the city.
Whippy tail follows.
-x-
Lulla-Boy-Bye
I sleep through my madness.
It follows, to my pillow.
Resting beside me.
Playing with my hair.
I graze on it at lunch,
A hungry calf,
Pull with new teeth.
He is gone,
and I unfold.
Hiding in hoodies,
Hunting through hindsight.
You’ll make short work of me,
Heartbreak.
-x-
Bridge
Painted past,
Muscled walls,
Soul drips,
From painted lips.
Future sits,
Nervous hips,
That won’t pop.
Led long,
Pulled astray.
Anxious falls,
Tender, small.
Angsty boots,
It’s no use.
Off the ropes.
-x-
Trees
I like climbing trees,
World bows,
My favourite tree,
He is a boy.
My fingers fit him perfectly,
He holds,
With such dignity,
He is a joy.
I kiss his leaves,
Play along with his wooden dreams,
But he is man.
-x-
Just Right
Creeps past broken branches,
Creeps past defiant darkness,
Tongue deep in honey pot,
Naughty bear.
Sleeps past broken bedtimes,
Sleeps past defiant daytimes,
Tongue deep in honey pot,
Naughty bear.
-x-
Oh my God, why?
Your name marches,
Strong legs,
To the top tower,
Angry arms,
Around falling ropes.
Medley of names,
I’ve called you,
Pain and anger rings,
Out as I sway,
Alone in my tower.
Wait with worry,
For your touch.
-x-
Lord
Skyscrapers sing,
He treads,
Soft boots,
And golden mane.
Desperate pavement,
Claws,
At his shadow,
For his safe boots.
Wind pushes rain,
Crying out,
Running,
For his golden mane.
Me? I’ve been worshipping,
My knees know,
As well as my heart.
The lord will come for Red Mary.
-x-
Expecting
Tea together,
Kilburn park,
Nap nowhere,
I stay up and keep watch.
Hello there.
Let’s swim.
I’m jealous,
Of your wonderful, watery life.
-x-
Paging Dr. Gold
Sick,
fevered.
Vomit sentiment,
Crying clichés,
Bleeding desire,
From everywhere.
I am sick.
Sick with you,
Everyone else,
Is sick of the sound,
Of your name.
-x-
Tea and Biscuits
Red, left, for you.
Unlock my demons,
Make them spit gold,
Drip down your body.
Drink up the gold,
I search for soft sighs,
Hold gentle voice,
Breaks from my fingers.
The kettle boils,
We are explosive,
React to heat.
Serve me with biscuits.
-x-
Silver Judas.
You betrayed me,
Long ago, Three times,
Before I arrived.
Such a shame,
betrayal had a name.
Such a shame,
Betrayal smiles at me, Three days,
Before my time.
Such a crime,
Betrayal became mine.
Such a tragedy,
Her, not me. Three times her existence,
Outweighed my persistence.
Such a shame,
betrayal had a name.
And her eyes.
-x-
Everything Except Accept
Purring growls,
Smouldering glare,
For me.
“Have at it.”
He says.
“I’m yours.”
Coat adores,
Slender shoulders,
of mine.
“I’ll do everything.”
He says.
“Except accept a no.”
Hair clings,
To slimming tips,
Of his.
“I’ll miss you.”
He sighs.
“When I’m too much.
-x-
Inked
Scribbled eyes,
Dance above lines,
Never on, but open,
To interpretation.
Hair pornography,
Face photography,
Lion roars proud,
Of his latest catch.
Whisper and shudder,
Eyes long for others,
My pen remains yours,
You’ve been inked.
-x-
© Jennifer Juan 2014
Sincerely, Jennifer x 