Evidence File 4676853
These documents are classified, and form part of the investigation into illegal experiments at Vitality Laboratories.
Included in this evidence pack are: The personal logs of Doctor Claudia Louise Handleson, collected from the 14th of January 2065 until the 18th of January 2065.
-x-
14th January 2065
If we get this right, we could change the world.
People call me a mad scientist, but I have never seen so clearly, or understood so much as I do at this moment.
We are on the brink of everything, and no matter what they say, we cannot let them stop us.
The state doesn’t want to hear about my research and the possibilities it creates, but I know I’m right. I will change everything.
Life will last forever. No more pain. No more sickness. No more sadness. The key to eternity is within my grasp, and I will have it.
The subjects are sleeping, but things have been going well.
I’m almost there, I can feel it.
My head is hounded by the fog, once again, and I know that I must sleep too, but I can’t rest until I collect my thoughts.
Soon, the cure will be in my hands, and my mind will be clearer than ever. This blasted mass will be no more, and I will be free.
We’ve had good results from the latest round of injections, and it appears that the serum is having varying degrees of effectiveness in boosting their ability to fight disease.
It’s a simple process for the first two groups. Infect in the morning, with a dose of the serum, and wait for them to get better.
The influenza group are responding incredibly well, and the sickness barely stood a chance. It was wiped out within minutes, and the subjects were fighting fit within the hour.
The smallpox group struggled a little, but made it through the night and seemed a lot better by morning. Testing shows that the disease is now completely cleared up.
We will be reinfecting both groups again tomorrow to clarify the results, but it’s looking positive.
The trouble is the cancer group. There’s no need to infect, obviously, but the serum isn’t quite as effective as we had hoped.
The unfortunate thing with that is that they were already sick, and so their diseases have had more time to make a home in their bodies. The serum is battling, but it doesn’t seem to be as strong in preexisting conditions.
We haven’t been able to eliminate their disease outright, but we are making progress. There are good signs and positive noises. I can’t give up. We are going to try upping the doses again for this group, and with a little work and more tests, I am hoping that we will begin to see better results.
There was one strange thing that is bothering me, though. The subjects in the influenza group are certainly giving us the best results, but they have begun acting somewhat strangely.
At first, I didn’t give it much thought, but they’ve not been sleeping.
The nursebot raised some concerns when I arrived this morning, and after checking the surveillance footage, I noticed that she was right.
They’re also eating a lot less food. Their meals are being returned as almost full plates.
They still have lots of energy, and they are participating in the daily exercises, so it can’t be having too much of a negative effect, but it is odd, and something to watch.
Maybe we can cross market the serum as an appetite suppressant? Maybe even a cure for lethargy?
I’ll have a chat with Doctor Mason. She’s working on a sleep study on the other side of the building, but I know she’s worked on appetite suppressants before, so she might be interested in collaborating on this.
And to think, they called me crazy for thinking I could cure cancer. They’ll see. I’ll cure that, and so much more.
-x-
15th January 2065
I’ve been very busy today, so I wasn’t sure that there would be time for a log today.
No change with the cancer group, and the smallpox group is still going strong, but there have been some very odd things happening with the influenza group.
They’re now refusing food all together, and they’ve been making demands to the nursebot.
They want to be placed with the others.
Why? They wouldn’t say, but they’ve been talking nonstop all day about how much they want to mix with the smallpox group.
We can’t allow it obviously, cross contamination would be a disaster, but they’re insistent, and becoming quite firm in their requests.
One of the group clung to the nursebot as she tried to leave their observation area earlier, screaming and pleading for her to take him to the smallpox room. Luckily for us, those nursebots are quite resilient, because we could only afford one!
Headaches are back today, and I’ve been throwing up everything I attempt to eat.
It’s hard to focus sometimes, while my body gives up on me, but I won’t stop trying.
The nursebot has just been in with the last report before I leave, and she said that the influenza group are scrapping amongst themselves.
Unfortunately, their energy levels are still very high, and I suppose that it had to go somewhere.
I’ve instructed her to sedate them all until morning, and we will see how things are then.
-x-
16th January 2065
The smallpox and cancer groups are fine, but something is wrong with the influenza group.
My attention has been pulled towards them, and I have so many questions.
The sedation didn’t work.
I’ve heard of some resistance to sedation, and high levels of tolerance, but never like this.
I stayed with the nursebot for hours last night, and we tried almost every drug we could think of, each more likely to knock the subjects out than the last, but not one of them worked.
They didn’t fight us, or try to stop us, but it was almost like they knew.
They sat quietly on the bed while the nursebot entered and tried each sedative, grinning and gurning over at the window while I watched.
It creeped me out a little, to be honest.
After a while, we gave up, and I instructed the nursebot to just try and keep them apart if they started fighting again.
She did her best, but when I returned in the morning, there were some cuts and bruises to take care of.
One of the subjects had broken his arm, but it had already begun healing by the time the nursebot got to him.
It’s all very strange.
They again insisted on mixing with the smallpox group, banging on the glass in unison at one point and staring directly at me, hissing their demands.
The influenza group is a problem, but I have a bigger one.
The government want to shut me down.
I had a feeling it would happen at some point, but I was hoping I could make more progress.
They sent an inspector from the Department of Health and Social Care, who really didn’t like what he saw.
Someone in the lab has ratted me out.
I know that my work here is arguably illegal, but the lives it could save has to be worth it, right? Besides, I’m paying these people a hell of a lot of money, hence why we’ve only got one nursebot.
I wish I’d invested more in nursebots, to be honest. They’re certainly more trustworthy than the turncoats I work with.
I don’t have time to flush out the traitor, because I need to get as much done as I can before the government scumbags come back, but one day, I’ll find them, and they’ll bloody well regret it.
-x-
17th January 2065
I am committed to this work. It will change the world, and my life. There are lives that will be saved, and yet… today, I am beginning to question everything.
I think that they are in pain. Such deep, anguish and agony. I knew that there could be some discomfort, but nothing like this.
The influenza group is hard to look at. They’ve taken to scratching at the door, whining and wailing as their nails bleed, but of course, they always fix themselves up quickly, and then begin again.
They beg, and they plead for more. I know what they want more of, and I can’t give it to them.
The pain isn’t so much physical, because they heal quicker than they can hurt themselves, but it’s somewhere deep inside.
They yearn for the sickness. They want more. Slaves to the serum, they can do nothing but long for something I cannot allow them to have.
Everything that they were is gone. It is all that they think about. It is all that they can do.
I can see my pain pouring into them, and I wonder what they could do to the world outside of my laboratory, or even what they could do to me.
They are incensed, you see. They have little moments, barely seconds where they can see clearly, and as they approach the window of the lab, they can see who made them this way.
They blame me for what they have become, and I’m beginning to see that they have a point.
What if it never works?
We have taken so many detours, and accepted so many sidetracks, but some days, I wonder if we are actually close, or if I just need to believe that we are to justify the hole I have been digging for months.
What if I can’t figure this out? What do I do then? I’m beginning to see it replicated in the other groups too. The smallpox group have stopped eating and sleeping. The cancer group are wide awake too, showing improvement in terms of health, but the telltale signs of slipping into something terrible.
What have I done?
I have created these… things.
They used to have friends, parents, jobs… Christ, some of them had kids, and now, they are barely recognisable.
They yearn for more sickness.
Covered in sores and bites, from themselves or each other, I just don’t know anymore.
All they think about is the serum, and the syringes.
It’s something in the serum, I’m sure of it. It hungers for more to fight.
The influenza and smallpox groups seem able to take on anything, and the cancer group are catching up.
The results from today’s doses have been phenomenal.
I should be thrilled. The serum works! I am on the road to curing everything, and yet, I can’t enjoy it, because I can just feel that something is wrong.
I am doing something wrong, but I can’t stop, because there is a timebomb in my head.
It will be alright.
It has to be alright.
This is just a wobble. I’m just spooked after the inspector’s visit. The ends will justify the means. Once I’ve figured this all out, I can cure them. It will be alright.
-x-
18th January 2065
They tried to take my subjects, but it didn’t go well for them.
Broken bones and bloodshed.
A bunch of soldiers and police broke in this morning, and my, oh my, it was not pretty.
My little monsters tore them to pieces. Pacing the lab with blood dripping from their chins and skin slipping from their pursed lips, watching me through the window, with that rage. Eyes, rubbed raw and bright red.
I don’t know if it will go well for me either.
They are so angry. Frothing and furious. I’ve been able to contain them in the laboratory, but soon, they will be out.
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Maybe I’ll do a little of both.
They yearn for the sickness.
They got into the Nursebot. Ripped it limb from limb and circuit from circuit, clutching all the syringes inside and fighting over them.
They’ve got all sorts now, but it isn’t enough.
They yearn, and they yearn, and they yearn.
I hid in my office, bolting the door and shoving filing cabinets across it. I don’t know if it will hold, especially now they’re all together.
The groups are mixing, and now, they all yearn the same.
The yearning has become their sickness, and they look to me for the cure.
Am I a healer?
I could have been, but now, I don’t know.
My timebomb ticks, and the subjects trudge closer.
I was so close.
My God, I was so close.
Sincerely, Jennifer x 