Baby Steps

baby steps jennifer juan

No Idea Why

£19.92

Follow

The Two I’s

Damien’s Lament

Baby Steps

Before You

Told You

Freak

White Cliffs Of Dover

Straw

Voted Most Likely

-x-

No Idea Why

I looked up, back down.

I’m fascinated by the fear that frequents our moments together.

No idea why.

I took a step, silent, ran back.

No.

I’m cornered by my curiosity, for the way that you could love me.

I’ve no idea why.

You shy away, just like me, though our hearts have done marathons.

One wrong move from a nervous mouth can ruin a good thing I suppose.

No idea why.

-x-

£19.92

Kicks away the blankets,

still covered with the prints of her producers,

her days are caught in crying,

because she belongs to the songs she sold her soul for,

the melodies are mocking,

and though the crowds sustain her day to day,

she is only alive,

at the edge of death.

-x-

Follow

Anything to be with you.

I’ll go where the trail of your heart desires,

melting at my core,

on an endless exploration.


Anything to burn with you.

Show me the jaw of the jungle,

let me sleep in it’s swallow,

axed by the acid that awaits me.

I’m not afraid,

to die for our journey,

lost to your longing for the universe.

Anything to breathe with you.

Take me to the highest point,

to the ends of the earth,

and into the sun,

to burn up,

at the very thought of you.

-x-

The Two I’s 

My hands are dead,

done with drawing deeds we never did,

and my heart is hardened,

from hearing what it cannot have.

I’m saved by my sanity,

until it leaves,

through the same door she did,

then I’m helpless to myself.

She said I was intelligent,

until I was “insane”.

I’m insane enough to wait my life for her,

and intelligent enough to make it art.

-x-

Damien’s Lament

She’s sleeping.

I watch her toss and turn,

my stomach does the same.

I’m sure her eyelids are a work of art,

and her fingertips are fondant fancies,

french tips, fit for my lips.

Her face is lonely,

without my eyes to keep it company,

the wonder of her waking,

is worth the risk of arrest.

-x-

Baby Steps

She stumbles behind us,

running to keep up.

We need to lose her,

so we can lose ourselves.

Nobody knows,

I’m not even sure I do,

but maybe we’ll know,

alone at the lake,

learning to kiss,

and learning to cry.

-x-

Before You

I’ve given up on giving you everything I had.

I’m picking up the pieces that I put on display,

you never understood them,

and you wouldn’t take a step into my gallery.

I glue the girl back together,

though she fights the skirts you sneered at,

and the pink lip you said wasn’t to your taste.

I place it on her mouth,

to decorate the long howls,

and dress her in all she has left.

I still paint by your numbers,

they add up to fuck all,

I have more troubles,

than your approval,

but I seek it,

every second.

I’m busy rebuilding the girl you left behind,

and the girl she was,

before you.

-x-

Told You

I told you I’m a liar,

but you didn’t believe a word I said.

You told me I was the only one for you,

and I told you I wasn’t for anybody.

Just say it if you want to,

and maybe I’ll figure it out along the way.

Spell it out, say syllables,

because I never learned to read.

Love me if you want to,

I won’t think any less.

I don’t really think at all,

but maybe that could change.

-x-

Freak

She’s uneasy on her feet,

and harsh on the world.

Her head is in the past,

that stabs and stands above,

no matter where she runs.

Would you believe her,

if she said a heart,

was fighting,

under that freak in teal?

-x-

The White Cliffs Of Dover

I’m on a cliff,

and on the sea floor,

in a moment,

if I want it.

I don’t hear Vera,

or love, or laughter,

just waves and wind,

and the rushing of my stillness.

Erode me to the air,

or save me from myself,

right now, it doesn’t matter,

and neither does what led me here.

-x-

Straw

He pulls on my hair,

he pulls on my nerves.

He presses his lips to the straw in his hand,

and all over again, I’m envious of inanimate objects.

My heels removed,

I’m a girl again.

I am blushy, I am mushy,

and I’m disgusted by my desire for him.

He’s drinking again,

as I drink him in.

I’m euphoric, and pathetic,

and I know that he loves it.

He touches my heart,

my hands and my lashes.

The world has stopped,

and only he can make it start again.

-x-

Yearbook

Voted most likely

to steal your elderly husband,

in my high school yearbook,

‘Cause I’m a vampire for vintage,

and I need that stale old blood.

I need some seasoned love,

because tomorrow’s man,

doesn’t factor into my future.

I want a face and heart,

with character,

and an earth of experience,

to impact upon my sun.

-x-

© Jennifer Juan 2017

Advertisements