Sincerely, Jennifer x

March 13th 2023

Mum, it hurts. 

I’m still working, because everyone says I’m fine, but I know that I’m not. 

I’ve been sick four times since I woke up, like a pregnant bird or something. I can’t keep anything down, and I can barely keep my eyes open. 

I’m exhausted, but everyone says I’m fine, so I suppose I’m fine. 

He’s here again, and he’s asking AGAIN.

He says that I’m sick. He can see it, but nobody else can. How does that make sense? 

He says that if I push the button, I’ll feel better, but I know that I can’t. 

I shouldn’t. 

I think I want to, because I’ve got a pounding headache, and come to think of it, I ache all over, but it would be the biggest thing I’ve ever done in my life, and I just can’t. 

He’s not so polite now. Says I’m a coward, and a failure. 

My skin feels like it’s splintering, breaking out in blisters as I stare down at the button and wait for the Prime Minister’s call. 

He never calls, of course, because calling me is a last resort, but I wish he would, so that the other voice would leave me alone. 

Just let me push the God damn button, eh? Let me be free of all this. 

He’s everywhere I look. Not him, exactly. I can’t see him, but everything feels darker since this all began. Dark and shadowy. I can feel eyes on me, everywhere, no matter where I go. 

Everyone else is acting normal, but there’s something off with all of them. I don’t know what it is, I just feel uncomfortable, like something isn’t right. 

I wish you were here. I feel like I’m on my own against the whole world. 

James x