Posted in Blog

It’s A Wrap

Last night,

I thought I was bereft,

but then I remembered that I get monthly cheques,

for the damage you left,

so I got a bottle of vodka,

and got the fuck on with it.

Some day,

you’ll just be a song,

on a compilation album,

a poem I perform,

in the cities we might have visited,

you’ll be an explanation for my art,

and nothing more.

Forevermore,

as you used to say.

Posted in Blog

mar sin leat

I thought I might drink myself to death,

and see where that got me,

maybe you’d come back,

racked with regret,

if there was nothing,

nobody to come back to.

I told you I loved you,

with an honest smile,

so many times,

that it just became a habit,

a reflex,

intuitively inserting itself into my vocabulary,

when I thought of you,

and now,

I have these words,

that sound weird in my mouth,

because I know they belong to you,

but I know that I can’t let you have them.

I think I was intruding,

as you found another me.

I was tipsy,

boozed up,

brave,

locked up,

leaving my inhibitions,

and common sense on the kitchen side,

typing out a subtler form of

“Excuse me, he’s mine”.

I don’t know if you ever were,

or if I was just your winter romance,

darling distraction,

something to do,

until doomsday came,

and you decided you wanted something new.

I told you,

that you were cruel.

You couldn’t take it.

Turning away from the term,

as if it wounded you.

I was a wounded, wistful, wasted thing,

just asking for a refund,

on those lost months,

and the heart I had hastily given you.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Personal, Writing

June

Summer sweetness,

fades away as I close my eyes,

sleeping away the strangled sobs,

meeting your gaze,

on different planes.

The sun came and went,

but June was just rain,

from my perspective,

introspective,

seated on soft grass,

hibernating to hide from invasive inklings.

I know that life is changing.

I feel the ground below me,

and the air around me,

rearranging.

It rained all summer.

It’s still not over.

The stars get closer,

every night,

some day,

I’ll wake up,

in bed beside them,

and I’ll be happy,

for once,

waking up,

warm,

content enough,

to see the rain in a new way,

reviving the garden,

releasing,

then draining.

I’m so drained,

and the summer was a washout.

I never really changed.

I just adapted to what life threw at me.

I never found where I planted the seeds,

but you grew,

so tall,

that I couldn’t see you.

I thought I’d cut you down,

but you were so beautiful,

that I wasn’t sure I wanted to look at you after all,

so I let you grow.

All summer,

I let you grow.

I tried to remember,

that I didn’t have to let you go.

I tried to find a way to be alone.

I tried to plant myself,

to see what happened,

but I just choked,

on dismal dirt.