Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

My Demons

The moon whispered it’s madness to me as I lost myself in its gorgeous glow.
We took the top down and the wind whipped, harmless through our hair,
a sweet scene,
I was clutched, close to your chest,
you kiss my sore forehead that aches from the agony of my violent visions.
My blood is on my own hands,
and I don’t battle my demons anymore,
I befriend them when the night falls,
giving them nicknames and new narratives.
Nobody was born bad,
my little darlings.
That’s the sympathetic song I sing to them as they toy with the shards of my soul,
and I am clutched, so close to your chest,
dreaming of something darling, for the first time.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

I’m serving them slice of life, if they lived life as a gangster.

We were in the car,
on the run,
from the rabid night that would eat us whole if he caught us,
but you’re gorgeous and resourceful,
always knowing just which back street to pull into.

You kiss me while the cameras roll and the search lights flood the sky,
and I am a guilty girl, wearing an innocent smile on lips that only know how to lie,
so I tell you that it’s all fine,
finding a way to work out how to say that there’s a bullet behind your ear.
I never told you,
and you never stopped smiling.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing


My Miss loves my wrists in Marc Jacobs and roses,
stems snaking around the flesh and bones like ropes,
charmed by the perfume and scarring the skin,
this is how she likes me, when she awakes, aware and ferociously hungry.

She stares with windy eyes, the blueish grey of a stormy sky,
and I am silent, save my breath, which follows the slow rhythm of her fingers beating against the bedside.

When night falls, she stalks the streets.
Daddy strikes a scrumptious shadow in her leather duster,
doting on me as she rounds on her prey,
inevitable as the sunset, and six times as beautiful.

We always dance until dawn,
arm in arm as I recall the night she found me,
lost in a little alley,
my heart pouring with my tears,
until she took me under her golden gaze,
and then, as if by magic, I was caught in her spell,
bitten by the curse of love.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

What Love Is

I like the word “love” because it tastes of lilac in my mouth, like Parma Violets and peaceful desert at the table with no disagreements and the tv just quietly chatting to itself in the background.

It tastes a little like light rain outside of my window, when I am sat, surrounded by my blankets and a carton of cigarettes, setting out a story about the two of us. A sunset. Sometimes, it feels like a sunset. Soft colours colliding in an endless sky that stretches as far as I can see, sinking into the scattered trees. That is how love feels to me.

It feels like I am being watched over as I sleep, my eyes, heavy and my breath steadily ticking along with the sound of the clock as the world fades behind my dreams.

It looks like a new chapter, a new page where I am not bound by the boundaries I paid attention to in the past. It looks like a blank, beautiful page, where anything is possible.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

Stolen, Not Sick

I was stolen, in an instant, cool metal colliding with my crowded thoughts and then they just… stopped.

It was so loud, and I had learned to love the sound. It was like a street party. I was the Queen of my own chaotic playground. Walking down somewhere safe, somewhere that makes sense and letting my senses get lost in all the noises and the colours, because there’s nothing to be afraid of. It makes no sense to anybody else, but it is mine, my own little mind, and they… took it. They just strapped me down, reached in and took it.

One swing, and something snapped. One shunt against my spirit and suddenly, I was living the life of someone else. I was no longer found on that familiar street, I was walking through my body, my echoing bones and brain, desperately asking why it was all so quiet.

I could reach out and almost touch my thoughts, but then they’d scuttle away, and I’d open my eyes to see everyone staring so expectantly, like I had said something brilliant, but maybe I had just imagined that, because I’d always be banished back to the chair in my bedroom, with a simple cross stitch and a mug of lukewarm milk.

I’d wander every second I got. When I woke up. When I couldn’t sleep. When the nurse gingerly scrubbed my shoulders as if my condition was contagious. “I’m not sick Miss.” I would tell her. “I’m just a little bit lost Miss.”

I would wander through the mist. I’d just wander in the dark, looking for myself. I knew that I was in there, the way that I was before they wedged metal into my skull and stole my essence like the pirates from the storybooks my guilt ridden Grandmother would read to me.

I used to read her the words of Wilde, but those days were gone. That girl was gone. I just knew that I had to be in there, and I’d call to myself, sobbing as I stared down at my arms and how weak they had become now that I had been kidnapped from my own body.

It was always back to bed after that, with a lecture about “getting too excited”. I fell in love with sleeping, because it was the only time I could see her again. The real me. A confident swagger, volcanic temper and a mouth that could barely make it through one idea before tucking into the next. I miss the taste. It was so sweet, even if it made no sense to anyone but me.

Let me be a Queen again.