Hola amigos,
I’m currently working on a really exciting project, and I am looking to feature LGBT+ poets. I am looking for LGBT+ poets who would be interested in sharing readings of their own work, or readings of their favourite poems, as well as LGBT+ poets who would be interested in being interviewed.
Submissions are open worldwide.
If you are interested, please complete your details here.
Besos,
J x
Sometime around my seventeenth birthday,
in fact,
exactly on my seventeenth birthday,
I was sat,
crowded by people who loved me,
staring down a cake,
that made me anxious,
making a wish,
for someone else to love me,
differently,
obviously.
I wasted a wish,
on a waste of time,
waiting for too long,
for the wrong kind of love,
because I wasn’t worldly enough,
to see it for what it was.
When I closed my eyes,
to ask everything around me,
for the birthday gift nobody could give me,
I heard the last minute or so,
of Let There Be Love,
like I always did,
when I looked at you,
and for a second,
I thought it might come true.
The earth is still tonight.
Gradient sky,
so sweet and shy above me,
so many shades of blue,
dusky and delicate,
showing off the stars I never see,
because air pollution wants all the attention,
but the earth is still tonight,
and the stars are here to visit,
I remember when I stood by your side,
as you showed them to me,
and I wanted you to love me,
forever.
Tell me,
that you will.
The world is ending,
probably.
I’m not a doctor,
or the prime minister,
so I can’t be sure,
but everything feels unapologetically apocalyptic,
so I’m not sure what else I’m supposed to think.
I think I’m supposed to panic,
but I’m actually relieved,
laying in the dark,
remembering little moments of life,
my heart,
still in the lonely sea,
waiting for me to return.
Maybe I will.
Wading home to the waves,
the moon shining on the steps,
as they watch me,
in silent but resigned horror.
If it’s over,
really over,
then lockdown be damned,
let me go home.
I want to go home,
to the only place where I felt whole,
the only place where the emptiness was ignorable,
the only place where I felt free.
If I close my eyes,
the tears on my cheeks,
feel like home,
and I am so blissfully alone,
tonight,
waiting for the end of the world,
so I can shrug off the guilt,
at how little I wanted to be here in the first place.
I thought,
for a change,
I might try to be happy.
I read once,
that you can have the life you dream of,
if you believe enough,
but I’ve swallowed so much snake oil,
that I’m not sure there is room for more,
so my belief system is just a blanket of bad ideas,
patched up by occasional optimism.
I read once,
that reality is just a state of mind,
but my mind always seems a right state,
so I couldn’t quite appreciate it,
and that just joined the patchwork hell,
another horse on my mind’s merry go round,
spinning and singing old songs,
with everything else up there,
while I try and figure out what’s going on out here.
I read once,
that if you smile enough,
you start to believe it.
I read once,
that if you say things enough,
you start to believe it.
I read once,
that if you repeat YOUR truth enough,
you start to believe it.
I read once,
that if you put your reality into the world enough,
you start to live it.
I am happy.
I am smiling.
I know why I’m here.
I know where I’m going.
I don’t feel empty.
I am not lonely.
I am not lying.
I AM SO HAPPY.
I thought,
for a change,
I might try to be happy,
but some girls just aren’t made for that.
