Sincerely, Jennifer x

I wanted her, more than I had ever wanted anyone in my whole life, and before I knew it, my endless desire had blinded me to everything that was going on, and I was trapped. 

Perhaps that was what I wanted? Perhaps, this is happiness? 

It has to be better than before. 

Wake up. Eat a boring breakfast. Take a shower. Put on a work appropriate outfit, that was by its nature, boring. Get the train. Spend eight hours filing, faxing and forgetting the many dreams that I had once had, and then going home, alone, to a boring dinner. 

It simply must be better than that. 

I am a prisoner, but I have my love to keep me warm. 

I barely noticed anything but her, at first. 

The lovely girl next door. 

Lovely Topaz. My precious one. The much needed sparkle in my dull, dreary existence, with her glittering eyes and her lips, full and beautifully blood red. 

She moved in, and my world was changed. 

Hypnotised, and hungry for her, I was her slave from the moment that we met. 

I barely noticed anything but her. My heart belonged to her.  My time belonged to her. My lips belonged to her. 

We just clicked straight away, and soon, we spent every night together. She’d cook for me, the most unusual dishes, always tapping her nose with a smirk when I asked for the recipe. 

She worked from home, and as I left for work each morning, I’d gaze longingly at her door as I left the building, wondering about all of the wonderful ways that she filled her days. 

I’d rush straight home, making excuses for friends who hadn’t seen me in weeks and bask in the beauty of my beloved. 

It sounds stupid now, but in the moment, I was enchanted, instantly. It sounds stupid, but it makes sense. Topaz had a secret, something so sickening that I can hardly believe it, or bear to speak it, and now, as I wait for her to return home, I wonder if I should run. 

I could stay with a friend, or maybe my parents. Probably not. Definitely not. They’re all dead. 

Everyone is dead. 

Well, not everyone. Other people exist, of course, but everyone in my life, except for her. All gone. Polished off. Never to see another sunrise or sunset. 

She wanted me to be her very own, for her to be my one and only, and now that it’s true, I have these moments where I wonder if it’s really what I want. 

What am I to do? There is death all around me, and the knowledge that more is to come, but I cannot stray from this path. 

I can’t keep away from it. It knows me, and it adores me. It crawls across my cursed skin and sinks its teeth into me, and I do nothing to keep it at bay, because if I am being honest, it is what I want. 

God, I want her. I want her in my every waking moment, despite my disgust, and my displeasure. I protest, but I’m only playing. 

Oh, the games that we play. The silly, sordid games. Me, and my sweet menace. My violent valentine.

She is something new, and so inviting.

Before, I would wake up. Eat a boring breakfast. Take a shower. Put on a work appropriate outfit, that was by its nature, boring. Get the train. Spend eight hours filing, faxing and forgetting the many dreams that I had once had, and then going home, alone, to a boring dinner, but then, there was her. 

The lovely girl next door, with such a lovely temper. She demanded all of me, and I could not resist. 

Before I knew it, I had given up my flat and moved in with her. I stopped working too, kept at home as her pet, watching from the window in the early hours as she headed out to hunt. 

Every time, she turns back with a smile, her bright eyes glittering, her fangs shining in the moonlight, and I know that I will belong to her forever. 

I am a prisoner of my undead darling and soon, her fangs will find my neck. 

My eternal torment. 

My magnificent monster.