Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

My Voice

First formed in a scream,
the dreamlike state where I am passed from one pair of arms to another, back to my mother and I scream,
I scream because I made it,
and if I can make it to the outside world,
then that’s another step towards world domination.

It gargled and goo gooed at first as I tried to form words,
only finding sounds and soft coos as night falls.
I used to talk all night,
in my own language,
with my own little voice,
that grew stronger and sterner,
before becoming soft as the world’s intentions descended,
but I will heal her.

She has changed,
been seen as sultry and shrill in equal measure,
but she’s mine,
and I won’t let her be taken.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

Knock Knock Knock

I knock three times on your subconscious,

won’t you submit to my siren sweetness?

I know you love a girl who’s mysterious,

I’m the daughter of the ocean,

and a total Aquarius,

so…

Where do you want to go?

Come and find me when I’m cloaked in the night’s sky,

let me live in your mind’s eye,

always the ambiguous apparition,

with only one ambition,

to love and adore you.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

Has Been

Some nights I have dreams that I’ve been a California heiress,
down on my luck, but lost, hiking in the mountains,
without a single care in my insular world.
When I was a small child,
I thought I might like to be a Princess,
just a rich white girl,
with tiaras and cars I never drove,
and I drove myself mad at the fantasy that fought against my reality.
California heiress, long lost princess,
daughter of the waves on Caribbean beaches,
you know, my dear, life is so short, so sour and inexplicable,
so I could only fit in so much while my eyes were open.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Personal, Writing

I Love You, But I Have To Go

It’s all falling down.
London Bridge,
and all the things you dreamed of,
as you stared across the river at it.
I love you, but I have to go,
because there’s nothing else I can do,
except mourn you in solitude when I eventually arrive on safer shores, of course,
but for now,
all I can do is pull away my fingertips from your grasping, desperate hand,
tear my eyes from the face I’ve stared at for a lifetime and walk away.

I love you, but I have to go,
because you have to die so that I can live,
and I know you’ll never understand why,
but I love you,
more than my departure suggests, and I know this is best,
but something about the way you wail makes it so hard to hang it all up and go.
The sky is aflame,
we swipe the clouds left and right with warm hands,
but you know that I have to go,
don’t you?

I love you, but I have to go.
I love you, but you have to let me go,
and I’d tell you
“No, I won’t forget you”
but the way you cling to what’s left of me shows that you know I will.
I take one last look at your familiar eyes,
your gaze so defeated under the glassy guard of the Thames,
and my hand hurts without you to hold it,
but the world is aflame,
the sun is sleeping on the ground,
and I love you, but I have to go.

I’ll never know if you were crying,
as you slip further under the surface,
but you had to die,
so I could live,
reborn and free of who I was, with you.
I love you, but I have to go.

Maybe one day,
when it all cools down,
you can come back around,
but for now,
I have to rebuild a new girl for us to be.
I love you, and I’ll come back for you, one day.