Sincerely, Jennifer x

I thought,

for a change,

I might try to be happy.

I read once,

that you can have the life you dream of,

if you believe enough,

but I’ve swallowed so much snake oil,

that I’m not sure there is room for more,

so my belief system is just a blanket of bad ideas,

patched up by occasional optimism.

I read once,

that reality is just a state of mind,

but my mind always seems a right state,

so I couldn’t quite appreciate it,

and that just joined the patchwork hell,

another horse on my mind’s merry go round,

spinning and singing old songs,

with everything else up there,

while I try and figure out what’s going on out here.

I read once,

that if you smile enough,

you start to believe it.

I read once,

that if you say things enough,

you start to believe it.

I read once,

that if you repeat YOUR truth enough,

you start to believe it.

I read once,

that if you put your reality into the world enough,

you start to live it.

I am happy.

I am smiling.

I know why I’m here.

I know where I’m going.

I don’t feel empty.

I am not lonely.

I am not lying.

I AM SO HAPPY.

I thought,

for a change,

I might try to be happy,

but some girls just aren’t made for that.