Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Personal, Writing

I Am Swallowing My Pain

Scratching initials into my desk,

so my idle, angry nails don’t find her eyes.

My heart is helpless and possessed.

There is an envy deep within me,

distant,

under the sun,

my skin burns,

as my ink buries her beautiful face,

I spin,

alone in the garden,

side two,

track seven,

Rubber Soul,

as my eyes rain.

I am the reigning Queen of resent,

throne of Grass,

crown of limelight hydrangeas.

Being loved by me is dangerous,

because I can compete in an empty room.

I am swallowing my pain,

it tastes so much like you,

so I start to hunt out my hunger,

helpless and possessed again.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Personal, Writing

Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

Rebellious subjects,

under the stars, that sing

“Oh, how cruel is fate?”

sweet harmony,

that portrays my destiny.

“Tier 2?” I gasp,

grasping at my symptom free throat,

googling traffickers

that could smuggle me in to the plague pit that our capital city has become.

On pain of death,

or public shaming,

I hope that you’ll hold me,

when the week is over.

Breathing slow,

beside the barricades,

I curse every face that I see,

playing games with blame,

like everyone knew I would,

because I’m a smart girl,

when I’m sober,

but since I met you,

I’ve been intoxicated,

so I lash out at fate,

unclean hands,

washed but unmasked faces,

that stand between us.

What sadness lengthens Jennifer’s hours?

Not having the funds to just say “Fuck it” and risk a fine,

or the selfish streak,

that so many let loose since we found ourselves in hell.

My brain is not idle,

but has many children.

Dreaming, divine,

of you and I,

underneath the roof of the market,

across from the Campus,

with a sheet of rain,

performing on the tiles.

Sometimes we kiss (by th’ book),

sometimes I stare, shyly at your shirt buttons,

and wonder when they shall be mine to toy with,

but then I am awake,

with nobody but an old bear,

who likes you just fine,

but feels a little envious that I spend more time with another.

A bear (who grew tired of pursuing) sits on my lap,

as we stare at the stars,

the inconstant moon.

I wonder,

if you could see the same picture,

if it weren’t for all the air pollution.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Personal, Writing

I Haven’t Thought About You For Thirty Seconds (She Lied)

On Wednesday, I am wrapped up in reminiscing,

about falling asleep to the familiar glow of your name in my notifications last night,

the night before too, how we met in my dreams,

the softness of your kiss, outside of my front door,

blankets and pillows that cannot be shared, because I give you my body, whenever you ask, but I am selfish with bedding.

I’m just thinking about it,

without even meaning to do it,

biscuits, broken chairs and your Marilyn Monroe coaster,

that holds my drinks,

and my attention,

(I wonder if you like her movies,

or if you like her sadness?

Someone told me once,

that I reminded them of her,

because we were sad girls, in the spotlight,

and now,

she reminds me of you,

and that gets a little constant in my head,

like your name gets constant on my lips,

when you touch me)

it all surrounds me,

and I am sat peacefully,

watching you find your way into my thoughts,

letting me get lost,

in you.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Personal, Writing

Vegas

Fountains find my wishes,

sending them to bright stars,

that feud with the lights of the skyline.

You are pouring me juice,

as I watch palm trees dancing to the wind’s melody,

silently, you call my name,

pointing at the sweet spot on your knee,

that I call home,

and I think,

I finally learned how to be happy.