It has been so many days,
three hundred and sixty six,
to be exact,
since I sent my dreams down the river,
on a boat,
I planned to sink,
seeing love,
as a damaging dream,
that would kill me,
if I didn’t kill it myself.

I spent a summer writing to myself,
sitting on the shelf,
where I felt safest,
banishing roses from my bedroom,
blood red beating heart,
begging for company.
I lamented,
languishing in loss,
living in a grey world,
dreaming of the dream I drowned.

I wrote a world of roses and promises,
but sometimes books burn,
torn and tattered,
when they are given with love,
but not loved in return,
so I decided to stop,
just writing to myself,
spending Sant Jordi with my soul,
buying myself books,
roses,
and cider.

This year,
I am at the riverbed,
reviving the dream that I drowned,
and mourned,
writing new books,
with new twists and turns,
roses on my skin,
with each kiss you plant,
and I give those kisses,
sweet like roses,
to the dream
that found her way back to me.
My heart,
safe in your gentle hands.
My dream,
alive.
My soul,
alive.
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