Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

Forever Faithful

Those bastards drove right past me. It was dark, but I had a torch, waving it madly from the side of the road as they approached. It didn’t matter, because they drove right past me, and now, they’ll get what they deserve.

I just needed a ride into the village. It wouldn’t have been too far. They were going that way anyway, but the trouble with people today is that they’ve got no kindness in them.

If they’d pulled over and let me in from the rain, I would have told them about Luna.

We all know about her round here, but they were from the city. Probably here for the wedding, I imagine. We always get weddings here, because the church is pretty and makes for great photos. The local hotel loves it because they always host the reception, and it makes money for the rest of the local businesses too, so we can’t complain, but Luna doesn’t like it.

They say that she was due to get married. It was back in the 40’s, just after the war. Luna was the most beautiful girl in the village, and her family were loaded too. They owned the hotel, and she was the only child, so everything was destined to go to her one day. Her parents wanted her to marry a rich man, even a Lord, but Luna fell in love with a local shop boy, and as young people tend to do, she thought she knew better and wouldn’t marry, unless it was to him.

It was quite the scandal, but her parents relented eventually, and a date was set. The whole village turned out for it, with the exception of the groom, and one of the chambermaids from the hotel. As it all turns out, Luna’s love had already given his heart to somebody else, and after making off with as much of Luna’s fortune as he could carry, they ran away to the coast, leaving Luna in tears at the alter.

She ran from the wedding, humiliated and heartbroken, and she was never seen again… Not in the state she left the wedding, anyway. Some think she was hit by a car, or drowned in the lake, but the truth was so much worse.

A few weeks later, the shop boy and his maid mistress were found dead in the forest that surrounded the village. Their bodies were mangled, torn to pieces, and it took a while for the police to even identify them, but eventually, they realised it was them. Somebody, or something had lured them back to the forest and massacred them.

Nobody would say, but everyone got the feeling it was Luna, and assuming that she’d had her pound of flesh, they began to breathe a little easier.

The trouble was, Luna hadn’t quite had her fill. Something bad happened to her out in those woods, something horrible. Not by the hand of man, oh no. Luna was killed by nature. She was walking through the forest, blinded by tears and lost her way. She called out for help but in the thick forest, nobody could hear her. It gets so dark in there. Even in the daytime, you’d swear it was night.

Nobody came to rescue her, so she was lost to the elements. She almost made it, bless her heart, she crawled out, hungry and thirsty, covered in dirt and rainwater. She made it onto the side of the road, but all the cars just drove past. They didn’t see her. They just drove past.

That’s where she died, where you just picked me up. People say that if you listen, you can still hear her by the side of the road, crawling on the floor from the forest, pleading for somebody to drive her up to the hotel. Anyone who’s smart will stop, and take her home. She’s always grateful, gives them a sweet smile from her swollen, rotting face as she leaves the car and runs up the path to the hotel.

Those two weren’t smart though. See that car up ahead? They came down for the wedding, just got engaged themselves, but they’re not going to make it down the aisle.

You see, Luna doesn’t like people that don’t stop to give her a ride, and she dislikes couples even more. I suppose it’s a bit of a sore subject for her, with all she’s been through.

Slow down a second…

They’re about to swerve off the road, just watch.

Don’t get out and check on them! Luna doesn’t like that! Just keep driving. Luna will take care of them.

Aren’t you glad you picked me up, eh?

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

Living Doll

Her name was Jade, and you loved her more than me. It was hard not to take it personally, but I suppose that’s only natural. You are special.You’re not just someone that I can forget. I’d spent so long looking for someone, surrounding myself with the most beautiful things to take my mind off my longing, but all along, I was looking for you.

Good God, I have longed for you my whole life.

I have always wanted you. Day and night. Every hour and every second. I always knew that I was waiting for you, the details were a little fuzzy, but once the fog began to clear, and my destiny became certain, it was like I finally sprung to life and everything made sense. You had been waiting for me all this time.

Do you remember when we first met?

I replay it in my head all the time. There you were, all alone in the bar, no ring, no drink in your hand, and I decided I was going to fix both. You liked beer. Ice cold, and I got you another, and then another, watching your lips curve into a smile whenever you talked about the romance movies you love, your favourite football players and how good your mum’s roast dinners were.

You say you were being friendly, but I think that we both know it was more than that, don’t we? You weren’t thinking about her at that moment, you were thinking of me. You were being more than friendly. You wanted me to know you, and now, I do. You looked at me like you knew we were fated to meet too. I could feel it in my fingertips, pulsing with electricity as yours found mine, and we connected.

You didn’t tell me about Jade. You took me back to your flat, and you made me yours. I’d never belonged to anyone before. I was a daughter of no-one, a lover of no-one, a victim of no-one, just a free, fluttering bird that flew above the world, until you. I had my vices, my playthings, but nothing had ever consumed me quite like you.

Your kiss clung to my lips for days. Grasping and greedy, my lips tingling as you took over my mind, melding with my soul through secret texts and hushed phone calls after midnight.

I called you my movie star. Named after one of the greats and twice as beautiful as Norma Jean. My lover. The keeper of my heart. My movie star, Marilyn.

I couldn’t wait to see you again, collapsing and rising at the thought of you and your hypnotic hold on me. I didn’t have to wait long. I was lost in our love affair, the phone calls and tempting texts, when I bumped into you, dashing and darling, with your arms draped around that bitch.

You blushed, blustering your way through an awkward conversation as you tried to explain that we were friends, shooting me a pleading look that sent me sailing from the stars and I swallowed our secrets, nodding as you told her that we were “just friends”.

I was incensed. Smart enough to stifle the cyclone that was whirling and raging inside of me, but bubbling underneath my skin, feeling the pain pulsing within as I made my excuses and left, tears bursting from my eyes as I turned the corner and was free of your gaze.

Sometimes, I’d wonder if you’d ever understand my pain. It tore me apart. I’d try to forget you, falling back into old fantasies, all the things that used to thrill me, but there was nothing that could compare to you.

I’d stay up all night, sobbing until I choked, helpless on the bedroom floor with a head full of memories.

You had been waiting for me all this time, and she was ruining it, so of course, something had to be done, but what? I assembled all of my favourite friends, surrounded myself with their wise, silent stares, and though they didn’t say a word, I knew exactly what they were suggesting.

It might interest you to know that unlike you, your precious Jade is not quite as promiscuous as you. It was a lot harder to get her home, but I am, as you are learning, quite determined. She kept telling me that I was pretty, but that she just couldn’t be unfaithful. It made me wonder if you really did love her more than me, and that made me all the more determined.

Do you know, it’s much harder than it seems to buy drugs? I did consider that as an option, but the whole plan fell apart when I realised that I knew absolutely no drug dealers. I’m used to intoxicating people with my charms, you see, so this was new territory for me.

Luckily, I made a new friend who had just the thing I needed. He didn’t ask for much in return, just a little something from you, but I honestly think you’ll be better off without it. Isn’t it funny that it’s easier to employ the services of a soul eating monster than it is to get Rohypnol? They call themselves Light Stealers, and I have to say, the name is very accurate.

One look from his stony, black eyes and she was putty in my hands, falling into my arms in silence, ready to be taken home and taken care of. The room was glowing, the air seeming to glitter, but it was like the world went away, and she went limp in my embrace, a little white lip escaping her lips as he captured them in a kiss.

One look at the lights went out in your precious, pretty Jade. I could hardly believe my eyes, and I couldn’t believe that I’d gone to all the trouble of creating my collection without the help of my mysterious new friend. He is a God send and well worth what I’m paying him… or what you’re paying him, I should say.

I carried her home, with a little help from my unusual ally. He was such a polite fellow, called himself Pumpkins. He said he’d be staying for a few days, and I made up the spare room for him. It was the least I could do.

Jade didn’t struggle, and she didn’t cry. She didn’t even scream, she just looked up at the ceiling with a sweet, peaceful smile.

I barely noticed the sound of you knocking on the door, because I was so enchanted by the scarlet that sprang from her skin. Pumpkins answered the door, a wicked smile peeking out from beneath his mask as he beckoned you inside.

You screamed, in delight, I assume, but you were so excitable that you tried to run. We couldn’t allow that, Marilyn. You’d miss out on all the fun we’re going to have! Wouldn’t that be terrible? Pumpkins took just enough from you to keep you still and silent, but he left a little of the sweet shine in your eyes for later.

I continued making up Jade for us. She was okay before, I suppose. A little plain, a little bland, but I made her into a miracle.

Her stomach was like silk, slipping and sliding through my fingers as I dug down into her abdomen. You have to remove these things, you know, otherwise the final product will be a mess, and I take a lot of pride in my work. I wanted her to be our perfect little plaything, and she is, now that I’m finished with her.

Oh, she’s beautiful now. Like a dream, or a devilish fantasy. I can barely resist her, and every few moments as I hold her to my heart, I think that perhaps, she is so beautiful that I could forget you.

That is the true fantasy, my dear. You are unforgettable, but that’s okay, because you’ve decided to stay.

You’ve been such a bad girl, Marilyn, but I believe in second chances. If you behave yourself, I’ll let you join in my game.

I know you can do it. You might have tripped and stumbled before, but the road to true love has never run smooth, darling. I forgive you. I forgive you for all the pain and the heartache, because I can see what you’re becoming. I’m perched on the bed, Jade joining all my other friends behind you, but you, my sweetheart, you are before me, rising from the carpet without a cry as Pumpkins works his magic.

I am a good lover, and I love all my dolls equally, but I must confess, when you are finished, I think I might just love you the most. I think you might just be my favourite. All my playthings are pretty, but never before have I had a living doll, and darling, I’m so glad that it’s you.

Love forever,
The Puppet Mistress

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

Lonely Heart

I just didn’t want to be alone anymore. Nobody wants to be alone, do they? I suppose I’m no different to anybody else, but it seemed to consume me. I couldn’t handle it anymore, so I decided that I wouldn’t spend another day of my life by myself.

It had gone on so long. Sometimes, it felt like I was frozen in time, watching everyone else live their lives while I was trapped behind unbreakable glass, never able to find a way through to the world. I wanted love, friendship, even an acquaintance, just somebody to know that I was alive, to care, even, but despite living in the most connected time in history, I had nobody.

If I’d have asked anyone, they’d have told me how dangerous this was, but I didn’t ask. I had nobody to ask but even if I did, I couldn’t risk being talked out of it.

I went to the supermarket, filling my basket with fine wines, chocolate and matches. If the checkout assistant had taken any notice of me, he’d have been a little confused by my strange purchases, maybe even alarmed, but luckily for me, I went unnoticed.

As I walked home, I watched the moon the whole way. She peeked out from behind the silvery clouds, full and fantastical, glowing in the kind of way that made me wonder if she’d been waiting for me to finally pluck up the courage to take the step I’d been considering for all of my life.

I’d always wanted someone to share my life with, someone to belong to, and to care for, but it had never worked out. I started to think that I was cursed, but the truth is, I just had to be brave.

It takes so much strength to put yourself out there. I’d know. I’ve done it over and over, but this will be the last time.

I’ve tried love spells of all types, with absolutely no success. I’d tried capturing the interest of those that I fell for, demanding the one I desired, and then I’d humbled myself, handing over control to the fates, pleading with them to bring me whoever they saw fit, and I’d still come away with nothing.

I’ve tried friendship spells. Spells to improve my looks, to draw people in, to make myself popular. None of it worked, but now, I know why.

He was waiting for me. All of this time, I thought I was alone, but there he was, watching from a distance, waiting for me to make the first move.

I knew what I wanted, and this time, I was certain that the universe would not deny me.

I cleared out my living room, pushing the furniture back towards the walls and covered the floor with all the gifts I could gather. The wine, chocolates and candy, surrounded by candles, lit up in a circle, with me in the centre, knelt in the mix of candle and moonlight as I waited for the clock to strike 3AM.

I began to whisper his name, pouring a glass of wine as the wind began to howl through the open windows. He crept closer. I could feel him beside me as I pierced my finger with a silver blade, wincing as I held it above the wine, my pain soothed as I watched the blood drip down into the glass and glide to the bottom. I called out his name as thunder bellowed from outside and as lightning flashed around the room, and the flames of the candles began to quiver, I felt his hand on mine, and together, we gripped the glass, lifting it to his lips, and then mine, drinking as our eyes met.

“I’m lost.” I whispered, his dark eyes seemed to shine with some kind of sympathy, and he placed the glass down beside him, opening his arms with a smile and a sigh from his blackened, chapped lips. I fell into his embrace, warm among his icy arms as he ran his scaly hands up and down my back, a soft kiss falling to my forehead as I began to cry.

“I know the things you seek, but they come with a price.” He seemed almost sorry to remind me of the terms of the deal I intended to make, but it didn’t matter to me. Something about the softness of his approach let me know that it would be okay. “I always hoped you’d ask me, Georgia.” I felt a chill as he said my name, his hand closing around mine.

“Will it hurt?” He chuckled, brushing my hair from my eyes and gazing down into them, his dark stare, gentle in the moonlight.

“Not for you, no.” He lifted my hand to his lips, gently kissing each lonely finger as the knife found my other hand, nestling in the shaking palm as I stood. “The man across the hall doesn’t have long left anyway.” I nodded, watching him break apart a caramel digestive as he gestured towards the front door of my flat. “I’ll see you soon.” The door flew open, and I walked through, ready to pay my toll at the crossroads, and finally have a friend to call my own, for the rest of my human life, and the eternal damnation that came after.

It was just a choice I had to make. You understand, don’t you? Everyone makes choices, and everyone has pressures. I’m not a bad person. Soon, I won’t even be a person, so, I suppose it won’t matter.

I just didn’t want to be alone anymore.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Spooky Season, Writing

Flashback – I Need You So

Meredith is the most beautiful girl in school.

There’s something about her that drives me wild. I can’t describe it, it’s like I can’t think straight around her.

She has the most gorgeous eyes. I see them everywhere I go, and I feel like they’re something I’m going to remember for the rest of my life.

Did you ever see eyes like that? Just so stunning that they knock the wind right out of you? I doubt it, unless of course, you’ve met Meredith.

I see her eyes in the stars at night, in the streetlights as I walk home and wait for the next day to arrive so I can see her again.

It’s crazy to think I didn’t ever notice her before, and then, boom, suddenly, there she was, with those eyes, lighting up the darkness.

We had just finished PE, my team had won netball and I was on a high, but feeling pretty thirsty, and she just… appeared. She let me have some of her water and as I drank it down and looked up at her face, I saw her eyes and it was like my soul left my body. All at once, I fell in love, like they do in films or love songs. It was like my whole life began again. Our life.

I felt so shy around her all of a sudden, stumbling over my words and tripping over my shoes, but she didn’t seem to care. We just connected. We spent the whole of our lunch break talking, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her eyes the whole time.

It all happened so fast, she used to be some girl in the background and then, she was the only girl I noticed. The only girl I’d ever wanted. I couldn’t stay away from her.

We’d meet in secret between lessons, just to be together away from prying eyes. I didn’t want anyone else to look at her, not the way I did. We didn’t touch. We barely even kissed but there was this irresistible electricity between us in those moments, and when we were apart, I couldn’t stop thinking about those few minutes we would have alone, just the two of us.

We’d stay up late on the phone until she fell asleep. I didn’t say much, I just wanted to hear her voice, and when she finally drifted off, I’d fall asleep to the lullaby of her soft breathing, dreaming of the day she’d fall asleep in my arms.

We didn’t tell anyone. It’s a small town, with a lot of gossip and a lot of backwards attitudes, so our love had to be a secret, but we’d make plans to run away together all the time. I started saving my pocket money and even got a Saturday job so that I’d have enough for us to start a new life. Meredith had always wanted to go to Paris, so I saved my money, even learning a little French to get us closer to our new life.

It was all so perfect, just like her, and her eyes. You really have to see them, except you can’t, because they’re mine.

At least I think so. I want them to be, and it feels right, like we were always meant to be, but sometimes, she makes me feel like I’m losing her. That’s love, I guess. It has ups and downs.

We had been together a month when things started to change. She’d forget to meet me at break time, or she’d take a little too long to text me back, and I could feel her slipping away from me.

It was Darcy, her stupid, so called best friend. I never understood why they were friends in the first place. Meredith was so sweet and kind, but Darcy was a stone cold bitch. It was absolutely pathetic.

I knew she was a bad influence on Meredith, infecting her with her shallow, salacious behaviour, even trying to fix her up with one of the boys in our class. Meredith would make excuses for her, talking about how Darcy didn’t know she wasn’t into boys, and was just trying to be helpful…

Let me ask you this. What kind of “best friend” doesn’t know that their best friend is a) a lesbian b) already taken. I knew that Meredith was lying to protect her. Darcy, for all her faults (and there were many) was Meredith’s best friend. She must have told her about us, and Darcy still decided to try and set her up with some hideous boy. It was disgusting.

You have to understand, something needed to be done. You can’t just let these things happen, you know? And it’s not like I hurt her, or anything, so I never really got what all the fuss was about. I was just going to scare her off, put some distance between them, for Meredith’s sake. I knew she was too shy and sweet to tell Darcy to back off, so I had to do it for her.

I was going to let her out of the store cupboard. I just needed to spend some time with Meredith first. How was I supposed to know that it would catch fire? The ropes weren’t even that tight. She could have got out if she wanted to. If the school decides to stock a cupboard full of flammable materials, that’s really on them, and not me, right? Like I said, I was going to let her out, but it just… caught fire first. What’s a girl to do?

Meredith stopped spending time with Darcy after that, and it was good. Really good. She needed me, and I took care of her, like a good girlfriend is supposed to. I even spent some of the money I’d saved so we could spend the weekend at a nice hotel, just the two of us, alone at last. I told my parents that it was a school trip, and we set off into town for a few days of spa treatments, late night movies and preemptive wedded bliss. We were going to be together forever, so what was the harm in practicing early?

I didn’t want it to end. It felt like we were in our own little world, just the two of us, nobody else. That was how I liked it. The moments of silence were serene. I’d just look at her, and realise that she was the one thing in my life that made it complete.

We even snuck into the restaurant and had alcohol with dinner. I felt so grown up. The barman probably knew that we were underage, but he didn’t say much to me when he gave me the drinks. He was enthralled by Meredith though. I got a bad feeling about that. He’d look at her a little too long, asking her questions, asking for her name a lot, even asking if she had any ID with her, probably to try and find out her real name so he could look her up on social media when we left. He kept asking if she was okay. She was fine. It wasn’t his business. She was absolutely fine.

I don’t mean to judge, but it’s really not right for a grown man to take such an interest in a seventeen year old girl.

He ran into the road and was hit by a car. Nobody really knows why. Meredith was terribly upset. I tried to tell him that a car was coming, but he just kept running, and screaming about a knife. I’d only used it to cut my steak, I thought he could take it back to the kitchen for me. I guess it was just a misunderstanding.

She was really quiet when we went back to our room, probably just tired. She fell asleep in my arms and it was everything I’d waited my life for, but when I woke up the next day, she was packing her bags.

We still had another night in the hotel, so I asked her why, and she just burst into tears.

She asked me about Darcy. I couldn’t believe it, everything had been so perfect, and she had to bring up Darcy. Dumb, dead Darcy, still managing to ruin our relationship from beyond the grave.

She asked me about the barman too. It was just a horrible accident, and then… well… another horrible accident. Accidents happen, you know, but she got upset. Hysterical, in fact.

She just started whispering about how she hadn’t meant for “this” to happen. I kept asking what she meant but she shook her head and just cried. I tried to hold her but she’d push me away.

She said that it wasn’t real. Her tears flowed, the seconds turning to a minute, and then another, and I just stared, bewildered. She said it again. It wasn’t real. Nothing that I felt about her was real. I covered her mouth with my hands, my own eyes filling with tears as she pulled away. She said that she liked me, so she cast the spell, but it messed me up and… she was wrong. She kept repeating herself but she was wrong. Sometimes, love means never having to say you’re sorry, but sometimes, love means telling your lover to be quiet because they’re confused, or they’re lying or…

She said it was just the spell. It didn’t make sense. None of it made sense. She said I drank and the spell was cast, but she couldn’t be right, because I could feel it in my heart, burning in my bones, screaming in my soul. I loved her with everything I had, and she told me that it wasn’t real. I had thought about her non stop for so long. She had been my entire world. How could it be anything other than real?

She said that she was sorry, and I just couldn’t believe it. There was nothing to be sorry for. We had done nothing wrong. She was just confused, upset about the accident the night before. She’d get over it and she’d be okay again. We’d be okay. I tried to tell her. It was going to be okay, and I loved her, but she just cried.

She said that it had gone too far. She said that it was a mistake and I just stood in silence, my heart still pounding and crying for her. It wouldn’t stop. She rummaged in her suitcase, pulling out the bottle and she shoved it in my face. She said that nothing I felt was real, but she was wrong, because it was all still there. Her name was carved into my heart, and my heart was heavy with all the love it held.

I had to show her.

She cried. She pushed the steak knife from my hand and I pushed back, watching her fall to the bed. She just cried, and cried, staring right past me as I grabbed the cord of her dressing gown from the floor, wrapping it around her struggling wrists, as she said it over and over. It wasn’t real.

She had to see.

It didn’t hurt too much. I barely felt it, because I could see her eyes as the blade burst through my skin. They were full of tears, red and full of fear, but I knew what she was afraid of. Her greatest fear was the same as mine. She was afraid of losing me, and I was afraid of losing her, but as I dug my fingers into my chest, the blood on my fingers felt warm and my head felt light and hazy, so the fear melted away.

I would always be hers and she would always be mine.

I fell onto the bed next to her, the clean, cotton sheets stained with my devotion, my hand full of my heart, so that she could see it truly belonged to her.

I gazed up at her face, so full of pain, so much sorrow, my own pain beginning to spread across my chest. It didn’t matter though, because I looked into her eyes and my heart, encased in trembling fingertips, softly whispered her name.

It was real.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Spooky Season, Writing

Flashback – Once Bitten…

My mother doesn’t ask where I go at night,
when the moon is high and healthy.
She just asks that I put my clothes in a white vinegar bath when I arrive home.

Nothing is said about torn wallpaper,
and the entrails that trail along the carpet,
to my bedroom,
the scratches along the frame of the door where the lock used to be.
Nothing is said and the conversation is light and easy.
“What would you like for breakfast?”
“Do you need a lift to work?”
“Want some ice for your hands?”

She understands,
without even trying,
because that’s what mothers do,
when their daughters are enslaved by the starving moon.

That’s what mothers do, when their daughters are damned by the jealous, relentless moon.