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Ella at The End Of The World – Episode Twenty Three

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I’m nice and rested, after a long sleep, a gorgeously hot shower and a scrumptious dinner, cooked by my delightful husband.

If this is ever over, I will never take real food, that doesn’t come from a military surplus shop, for granted, ever again. We’re trying to make supplies last, so we get freeze dried crap for breakfast and lunch, but a glorious proper meal for dinner, and it’s honestly the best part of my day.

We’ve switched up the teams again, so from now on, Me, Martin and Little Mary do nights while Thomas, Jude and Big Mary do days. I prefer it that way. Me and Little Mary have really bonded since we got here. Not just over Big Mary hating both of us, but because we’re both in the same position. Women in their late twenties who thought they had all the time in the world, but are having to quickly adapt.

The TV has started working again, but it’s just the same old “Stay at home! Protect the NHS!” ads, or a very frightened (but still quite lush) Huw Edwards, reporting that government sources are denying rumours and that everything is fine.

The radio is where it’s really at, and the internet. Frank did a great show in the early hours, just as we were coming off shift, talking about how nobody has seen Boris Johnson since it all kicked off. He said that one of his sources, who works in a Guys Hospital, told him on good authority that Boris is infected, but they’ve locked him away in the hopes that a cure can be found (and, I assume, so that he doesn’t snack on the cabinet if he gets hungry). It’s alright for some, eh? He gets kept alive (well, aliveish) in hospital, until the NHS, that he constantly cuts, can make him all better, while the public suffer…

Speaking of well off infected people, Molly Mae got it too. There’s a really creepy video going round on the socials, where she went onto YouTube, to do a livestream, and was begging and pleading with her followers for help and advice. I felt a bit bad for her, to be honest. After she turns, she’s rabid for a bit, but then she just sits there, staring into the camera, really docile, like part of her remembers who she was. She just sat there, occasionally snarling and dribbling, but always staring straight down the lens, with glassy, dead eyes.

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Ella at The End Of The World – Episode Twenty Two

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I think Martin may have a point, and I definitely slept too long.

I can’t sleep now, so I’m sitting with him for a bit. Things have been good with us, for a while. Part of me thinks it’s because we are still avoiding talking about you know what, but I don’t know if I even want to. I don’t know if anything he said could change what happened, or how I feel, but despite feeling angry at him, still, in a sense, I see how much he wants to care for me, how much he loves me, and it just makes me forget for a little while.

Big Mary is even being nice, so I think Martin might have spoken to her about it. The reality is, we all have to live together, until God knows when, so it is probably going to be better that we get along, as best we can.

There hasn’t been much action tonight, just a handful of them at the gate, and one of them trying (and failing pretty damn hard) to scale the fences. Martin says when it gets light, he’s going to try and put some extra stuff on the fences, just in case we don’t catch a climber again. It does make me feel a little safer, because even though it was funny to watch them shambling and flailing as they tried to climb, one day, they could actually make it.

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Ella at The End Of The World – Episode Twenty One

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I know I was all lovey dovey about Martin last night, but I hate him again (I’m joking) because he’s just woken me up. According to him, you shouldn’t sleep too much after staying up all night, unless you intend to stay up the next night, or you’ll never get to sleep. I suppose he would know, considering how many night shifts he did at the hospital (which seems another lifetime away), so he is probably right, but I was quite enjoying being all cozy in bed.


On the bright side, we did have time for a little cuddle… if you know what I mean. Much better in a bed than it is in a tent.

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Ella at The End Of The World – Episode Twenty

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Martin’s being very sweet tonight, which makes me feel a bit guilty for spending last night getting drunk, while he was looking out for me. He made me some sandwiches, and sat with me, while I ate them. We talked for a bit, and for a few minutes, it didn’t seem awkward or weird. He joked about my hangover, and held me close to him. For just a little while, it felt like before, until, of course, a low growl interrupted. Down at the gates, there was one of them. Martin sprang into action, jumping up and grabbing his crossbow from his back (I’d completely forgotten he was even wearing it, so that was a shock), and took it out immediately. I just stared up at him. It was like time stood still. He turned to look at me, and for a second, I thought he looked frightened. He shook it off pretty quickly, and sat back down next to me, pulling me close again, but he held me a little tighter this time, so I’m pretty sure he was frightened, even if he tried to pretend.


He’s still up with me now. It’s been really quiet, apart from a few at the gates. The gates are really high, and the railings are pretty close together, so it’s unlikely they’d be able to squeeze through, but Martin says we have to get every one we see, because if enough of them came, they could probably knock down the gates, and then it’s only the front door between them and us. The front door has been reinforced, but if there were enough to break down the gates, they’d have it down within a few minutes, so it’s better to keep them at bay if we can.


I told Martin he should go to bed, because he’ll need his sleep for tomorrow night, when he’s on duty, and he keeps saying he will, but he hasn’t left my side once. I can see him falling asleep sometimes, but then he forces himself awake, and cuddles up to me a little closer.


I asked him about us having smaller patrols during the day. We don’t get many of them during the day, and they do tend to travel more at night, but you can never be too careful (I’m starting to sound like Martin…), and he said he’d talk to everyone in the morning. I suggested we go on together, just the two of us, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he kissed me, so I’ll take that as a yes.