Sincerely, Jennifer x

Gaslit by the spirits,
watching them twist and turn under the lamplight as I dream my silly dreams,
pleading my silly case,
watching their lips curve into crooked smiles as thunder crashes, collapsing against the clouds.

Is it really this easy?
Is it really this easy to get the things you want in life?
I should ask,
but I don’t.
I know that we’re playing a game.
I am the mistress of make believe,
and these are the things I want to believe:
Number one, it is this easy, if I allow it to be.
Number two, closing my eyes is enough to close the gap between myself and the world I wish to awake in.

My eyes are closed.
Give me something to believe in.

When I was a small speck of a thing,
I loved an audience but had no talent,
so I broke myself into pieces and paced the trails of the stars that once resided in my grandfather’s record collection,
placing each part of myself back in a specific order until I was something special,
I think of the child often,
and I know that they do too.

Sometimes,
it seems that this life is too bad to be true,
so I saunter off to my silk sheets and I let the spirits speak.
I lay in still silence,
letting them lull me to a land of lilac,
like a lamb, I walk slowly, with a smile to the axe.
It’s all going to be alright,
isn’t it?
My hands are clasped together,
with the beads of my God braided between my fingers,
and this has to be the moment where it happens.

I just need to hold out for it.
They told me that as the chimes rang out and the child slept,
and I stared into the darkness of their eyes,
wondering how long it would take them to consume her.
It isn’t their fault.
It’s all they know how to do.

Is it really this easy?
Is it really this easy to get the things you want in life?

I saw my darling with the long, blonde hair.
I dreamt of her last night.
I heard once that you’re rich if you’ve got one dream,
so I kept the thought of her close to my chest,
like my last penny,
waiting for her to be more than a series of moonlit visions.

Is it really this easy?
Is it really this easy to get the things you want in life?

I believe that it is,
and so do they.