To The Catholic Brexiteer

I am so sorry.

Genuinely.

From the bottom of my mixed up,

mixed race,

part white,

part polluted heart,

I am so,

so sorry.

I have stolen a white man.

Several, actually,

and some white women too,

I know that they belong to you,

but you know us “darkies”,

(although, as a mixed person, I’m sort of in the middle,

lightly toasted,

if you will),

we are just predisposed to crime,

and unfortunately,

my mother’s lily white,

innocent DNA was just not enough,

to overcome my emotional kleptomania,

and so I stole them,

pure white British hearts,

taken into my ethnic lair,

and probably used in some dark and demented foreign ritual,

because you know what us people are like.

I am so sorry,

to have caused you such distress,

as I destroyed the master race.

Thoughts and prayers.

Sincerely, Jennifer x