Drowning In Us Trailer

Hola amigos,

I hope the cold weather isn’t too bad where you are.

As you know, for the last few years, I’ve been working on a very special project. It has been a long process and it has gone through a lot of changes, but I have some further details on it that I can share with you.

The project will be a story that is told through various mediums, and will include a book of short stories and poetry, an album of music inspired by the story, and a film.

You can check out the film trailer below, and I can’t wait for you to see more of the project next year!

I really hope that Marina and Grant’s love story will be something you enjoy.

Besos,

J x


Order “Stormy Weather” here

Order “Last Of The Greenwich Glamour Girls” here

Order “The Things We Did Last Summer” here

Order “Home Wrecker” here

Listen to”Past Preston” here

RECENT FREE CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Are You Afraid?
Ladylike
Summer Of Love

RECENT BLOGS
Jim Chapman’s “147 Things” Review
How I wrote “Depression Is Not Real?” from Home Wrecker
It’s Time To Talk About EVE (Because Many People In The Wrestling Industry Won’t).

COME FIND ME
Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen
Facebook
Patreon
Tumblr
Amazon
Podcast
Spotify

 

Advertisements

The best and worst of Horror on UK Netflix

Hola amigos!

As usual, I’ve been watching many diabolical things, in an attempt to discover something that frightens me more than the prospect of Brexit, and my streaming service of choice is Netflix. Netflix has a lot to offer, but tends to lack a lot of key horror titles, but I’m here to take you through some of the best horrors I could find, and some that you’re better off avoiding.


The Best

The Invitation

The_Invitation_(2015_film)_POSTER

A very convincing argument for never speaking to your ex again.

The Invitation is what I will show anyone that tries to convince me that my policy of completely erasing exes from my life is self destructive. Our hero, Will arrives at his gorgeous former home with his new girlfriend, for dinner with his ex wife. It is quickly revealed that the pain of their young son’s death caused Will and his wife to divorce.

Of course, people handle things in different ways, and at different paces, and to the rest of the world, Will’s ex wife Eden seems to be moving forward in her life, but underneath her smile and equally smiley husband (a sure sign that something is wrong in horror, would be an abundance of smiling) lies a very dark truth to how Eden has recovered so well.

Without spoiling too much (I know, I always do that!), The Invitation really looks at the idea of whether we as people are every truly capable of knowing each other, and knowing the true capabilities of those around us, as well as giving a definitive answer to whether the past really should remain in the past (brief spoiler alert, it definitely should).

Black Mirror

black mirror jennifer juan

The future is bright, but it scares the shit out of me.

Now, some wouldn’t consider Black Mirror to be horror, but I personally would. Perhaps not all of it is horrific (San Junipero says hello, and I’m crying all over again), but there are many horror aspects, and so one could argue it is a horror anthology, and, well, I am.

One of the most frightening parts of Black Mirror is coming face to face with how truly awful we have the potential to be. Why fear ghosts and creatures when monsters are walking past us every day, right? Charlie Brooker has succeeded in showing the reality of every day life and human nature, and how it can lead to chaos, destruction, and unfortunate pig related incidents.

I’d personally say that my favourite episodes were “National Anthem” and “Playtest” but I’ve never finished an episode and felt unsatisfied, so I’m sure you’ll enjoy them all.

Shutter

Shutter08poster jennifer juan

More trouble with exes..

Now, I’ve been very vocal about how disappointing western remakes of eastern horror can be (Death Note, I’m looking at you), but Shutter is definitely one of the better ones.

As Ben and his new wife Jane travel to Tokyo to start their new life as a married couple, they think nothing could go wrong. This is a horror movie, and so, of course, they are wrong. The trouble begins when Jane hits a girl with their car, and the girl vanishes without a trace.

They try, as people in horror movies often do, to forget about the situation and move on with their lives, but of course, that just isn’t going to happen, as Ben’s photographs begin to show signs of spirit photography, leading Jane to begin unravelling the mystery of Megumi Tanaka, and the horrific truth of her connection to the newlyweds.

As mentioned, it is one of the better adaptations of an eastern horror, and will certainly deliver more scares with less lazy crossover writing than some of it’s peers.

The Mist

The_Mist_title_card jennifer juan

Dreams, after all, are insubstantial things, like mist itself.

With the recent release of It, many of us will be looking for something Stephen King related to continue the scares after watching, and The Mist is the perfect option. The movie adaptation is a favourite among many horror fans, for it’s terrifying visuals, and breathtakingly bleak ending, and the television series does a great job of continuing the universe of King’s original story.

I must admit, I was hesitant to begin watching the show, as The Mist genuinely troubled me when I watched it, many years ago, on Sky Movies, when my mum was out of the house and couldn’t stop me, but I’m very glad that I put my self inflicted childhood trauma aside and gave it a chance.

With an impressive cast, and the opportunity to delve further into the story than the movie adaptation, it is definitely an enjoyable show for fans of Stephen King, and honestly, anybody else.


The Worst

Unfriended

Unfriended_2015_teaser_poster jennifer juan

Please, little girl, take this lollipop…

Unfriended was an ambitious idea, and so I will give them credit for that. Focusing the entire audience perspective on social media is certainly original, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it was the right step. I applaud the originality but I feel the movie relied on that gimmick too much, and didn’t give proper attention to character development.

One of the key things with horror, is creating characters that people care about. If you I don’t care about the characters, why should I care when they die, or get damned to hell, or eaten, or whatever you’re doing to them. One of the curses of modern horror is reliance on jump scares or quirky gimmicks, to cover up that a story doesn’t make sense, or the characters are poorly developed, and Unfriended is definitely guilty of that.

I suppose the message of “Don’t cyber bully” is nice to see in a mainstream movie, but I couldn’t really get past how weak the writing was, and so the message was lost, for me.

The Green Inferno

The_Green_Inferno_poster jennifer juan

We get it, Eli, you’re really edgy.

If you’re ready for more poorly developed, unlikable characters, then you may enjoy The Green Inferno.

Now, as many of you may know, I am not the biggest fan of Eli Roth (although, I did think Hostel was great), and so perhaps I’m being a bit harsh, but honestly, for someone who is hailed as one of the brightest stars in the horror genre, I expect better, and The Green Inferno was a massive disappointment.

I’ve mentioned this before, but one of the most annoying parts of The Green Inferno, for me, was the mess of messages for the audience. It was so difficult to pin down who I was supposed to sympathise with, or if I was even supposed to care at all. A lot of the time, it felt like it tried to emulate the message of Cannibal Holocaust (We think that indigenous people are savages, but WE are the savages), but they also shoved a whole bunch of 4chan worthy shit on top that it was lost. We get it, Eli, you’re really edgy. We get it.

One of my problems with The Green Inferno was that, while admittedly it was a homage to Italian cannibal movies, and so would naturally have similarities to many existing ones, including Roth’s blatant main muse, Cannibal Holocaust, it didn’t feel like Roth did anything new with the genre, or the resources available to him. It felt like the kind of thing kids would make on windows movie maker, for a GCSE media class, but with a bigger budget, rather than feeling like a movie made in tribute, but with original thoughts and ideas behind it, so the whole thing just came off as lazy.

The only interesting or slightly likeable characters turned out to be the tribe, and so I wasn’t too bothered as they picked off most of the characters I was meant to be rooting for.

Roth also got overly defensive, when accused by Survival International of continuing to give a platform to negative stereotypes about indigenous people, saying “The idea that a fictional movie about a fictional tribe could somehow hurt indigenous people when gas companies are tearing these villages apart on a daily basis is simply absurd.”

I get defending things you create, to a point, but this seems like a case of a creative never having had to face major criticism before, maybe because the entire genre they dominate keeps telling them how clever they are, and how special they are, and then getting defensive when confronted with genuine criticism, because it hurts their ego.

He went on to say “The fear that somehow a movie would give them ammunition to destroy a tribe all sounds like misdirected anger and frustration that the corporations are the ones controlling the fates of these uncontacted tribes.”

The fact is, dehumanisation of marginalised people is what keeps them marginalised, and this is partly done by the media and entertainment industry, so, yes, while the movie didn’t drive the whole world to attack uncontacted tribes, it is part of the fabric of their dehumanisation, and to say that these things don’t influence or vindicate prejudiced people, who kill people who stand in the way of profit, is naive at best, and ignorant at worst, because they are only able to kill those people, because they have been so dehumanised that they no longer see them as people. Attacks on indigenous people are still a reality and while I wouldn’t say writers and film makers should never touch on subjects like this, they should at least try and be responsible, and not act like people being offended by their bad treatment of sensitive topics is unfair.

Eli Roth is a grown man, a grown man of 45 fucking years old. If he’s grown enough to make his little cannibal movie, he should be grown enough to defend it without shouting down people’s opinions, and throwing a tantrum because people don’t “get” him, and actually confront his work with criticism.


Besos,

J x

Order “Stormy Weather” here

Order “Last Of The Greenwich Glamour Girls” here

Order “The Things We Did Last Summer” here

Pre Order “Home Wrecker” here

RECENT FREE CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Ladylike
Summer Of Love
Baby Steps


RECENT BLOGS
The Best And Worst Of Horror On UK Netflix
I’m Still Here
Let’s Go To The Movies

COME FIND ME
Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen
Facebook
Patreon
Tumblr
Amazon
Podcast

Love Lessons

His brow furrowed,

as his eyes,

that had seen and collected,

the wonders of the world,

fell to the floor.

He asked me,

why I wanted him.

 

 

 

I took the hands,

that had spent more nights,

alive and exploring,

than I had had days on the earth.

I told him,

that I wanted someone,

who knew how to love me.

 

 

 

He has loved me,

with tenderness,

with curiosity,

with ferocious passion,

that he thought he had lost,

and I know,

nobody else could love me,

the way he taught me I deserve.


Order “Stormy Weather” here

Order “Last Of The Greenwich Glamour Girls” here

RECENT CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Ladylike
Summer Of Love
Baby Steps


RECENT BLOGS
Let’s Go To The Movies
An Open Letter To Miranda Larbi, In Relation To Unicorns

Thought Provoking Stories In Your Horror Movies? It’s More Likely Than You’d Think!

COME FIND ME
Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen
Facebook
Patreon
Tumblr
Amazon
Podcast

Women Who Work (Really Hard At Pretending To Be Allies)

She tapped on a screen,
as if it meant the same,
as standing with the brave,
and using her freedom,
to free them.

I am proud
I will say I am proud
to support my LGBTQ friends and the LGBTQ Americans
of the LGBTQ Americans my Dad targets
who have made immense contributions to our society and economy.
so they can’t point out my cowardice,
in the face of their bravery.

I will say I am proud,
of the LBGTQ Americans my Dad targets,
so they can’t point out my cowardice,
in the face of their bravery.

She tapped on a screen,
and typed everything,
a publicist told her,
and it meant nothing.


Order “Stormy Weather” here

Order “Last Of The Greenwich Glamour Girls” here

RECENT CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Ladylike
Summer Of Love
Baby Steps


RECENT BLOGS
Let’s Go To The Movies
An Open Letter To Miranda Larbi, In Relation To Unicorns

Thought Provoking Stories In Your Horror Movies? It’s More Likely Than You’d Think!

COME FIND ME
Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen
Facebook
Patreon
Tumblr
Amazon
Podcast

Stormy Weather

Hola amigos!

I hope you are coping with this heatwave better than I am…

I just wanted to check in and let you know about a few updates.

Firstly, you can now preorder my upcoming release here and it will be released on the 30th of June.

Secondly, if you sign up to my Patreon, you’ll receive a free ebook copy on the 30th of June.

Thirdly, you can now enter my tumblr giveaway by clicking here.

Besos,

J x

Dating, and new writing

Hola amigos,

I hope you’ve been well. I’ve been very busy, going on quite a few dates… with myself. I’ve been single for a while, to be honest, I’d like to be for a bit longer, but I missed things like going to dinner, or seeing a movie, and initially, I thought it would be lonely to do it by myself, but actually, there are a lot of benefits.

For a start, I’m paying for everything myself, so there is no pressure to give anything back (financially or otherwise)for the drinks or the dinner, and I can also wear what I want without there being a sense of entitlement from someone else, because I’m the only one there!

I can also get an ice blast at the cinema, and nobody can tell me that adults shouldn’t have them, because I’m the only one there and I don’t care.

I’ve been on quite a few cinema trips lately, and rediscovered how enjoyable it can be just to sit, and be absorbed by the universe of someone else’s creation. I normally watch movies alone, but I’m big on multi tasking, so I’ll be writing while watching, which can be a little distracting. A major upside to watching a movie alone, and without distractions is that I can see whatever I want. I spent a lot of time when in relationships having to compromise, because most people aren’t interested in horror movies, and mentioning subtitles would send most of my exes running for the hills, so it’s nice to be able to watch things I’m actually interested in.

In other news, below is some new work I’ve finished. I hope you enjoy it!

Besos,

J x


baby steps jennifer juan

No Idea Why

£19.92

Follow

The Two I’s

Damien’s Lament

Baby Steps

Before You

Told You

Freak

White Cliffs Of Dover

Straw

Yearbook

-x-

No Idea Why

I looked up, back down.

I’m fascinated by the fear that frequents our moments together.

No idea why.

I took a step, silent, ran back.

No.

I’m cornered by my curiosity, for the way that you could love me.

I’ve no idea why.

You shy away, just like me, though our hearts have done marathons.

One wrong move from a nervous mouth can ruin a good thing I suppose.

No idea why.

-x-

£19.92

Kicks away the blankets,

still covered with the prints of her producers,

her days are caught in crying,

because she belongs to the songs she sold her soul for,

the melodies are mocking,

and though the crowds sustain her day to day,

she is only alive,

at the edge of death.

-x-

Follow

Anything to be with you.

I’ll go where the trail of your heart desires,

melting at my core,

on an endless exploration.

Anything to burn with you.

Show me the jaw of the jungle,

let me sleep in it’s swallow,

axed by the acid that awaits me.

I’m not afraid,

to die for our journey,

lost to your longing for the universe.

Anything to breathe with you.

Take me to the highest point,

to the ends of the earth,

and into the sun,

to burn up,

at the very thought of you.

-x-

The Two I’s 

My hands are dead,

done with drawing deeds we never did,

and my heart is hardened,

from hearing what it cannot have.

I’m saved by my sanity,

until it leaves,

through the same door she did,

then I’m helpless to myself.

She said I was intelligent,

until I was “insane”.

I’m insane enough to wait my life for her,

and intelligent enough to make it art.

-x-

Damien’s Lament

She’s sleeping.

I watch her toss and turn,

my stomach does the same.

I’m sure her eyelids are a work of art,

and her fingertips are fondant fancies,

french tips, fit for my lips.

Her face is lonely,

without my eyes to keep it company,

the wonder of her waking,

is worth the risk of arrest.

-x-

Baby Steps

She stumbles behind us,

running to keep up.

We need to lose her,

so we can lose ourselves.

Nobody knows,

I’m not even sure I do,

but maybe we’ll know,

alone at the lake,

learning to kiss,

and learning to cry.

-x-

Before You

I’ve given up on giving you everything I had.

I’m picking up the pieces that I put on display,

you never understood them,

and you wouldn’t take a step into my gallery.

I glue the girl back together,

though she fights the skirts you sneered at,

and the pink lip you said wasn’t to your taste.

I place it on her mouth,

to decorate the long howls,

and dress her in all she has left.

I still paint by your numbers,

they add up to fuck all,

I have more troubles,

than your approval,

but I seek it,

every second.

I’m busy rebuilding the girl you left behind,

and the girl she was,

before you.

-x-

Told You

I told you I’m a liar,

but you didn’t believe a word I said.

You told me I was the only one for you,

and I told you I wasn’t for anybody.

Just say it if you want to,

and maybe I’ll figure it out along the way.

Spell it out, say syllables,

because I never learned to read.

Love me if you want to,

I won’t think any less.

I don’t really think at all,

but maybe that could change.

-x-

Freak

She’s uneasy on her feet,

and harsh on the world.

Her head is in the past,

that stabs and stands above,

no matter where she runs.

Would you believe her,

if she said a heart,

was fighting,

under that freak in teal?

-x-

The White Cliffs Of Dover

I’m on a cliff,

and on the sea floor,

in a moment,

if I want it.

I don’t hear Vera,

or love, or laughter,

just waves and wind,

and the rushing of my stillness.

Erode me to the air,

or save me from myself,

right now, it doesn’t matter,

and neither does what led me here.

-x-

Straw

He pulls on my hair,

he pulls on my nerves.

He presses his lips to the straw in his hand,

and all over again, I’m envious of inanimate objects.

My heels removed,

I’m a girl again.

I am blushy, I am mushy,

and I’m disgusted by my desire for him.

He’s drinking again,

as I drink him in.

I’m euphoric, and pathetic,

and I know that he loves it.

He touches my heart,

my hands and my lashes.

The world has stopped,

and only he can make it start again.

-x-

Yearbook

Voted most likely

to steal your elderly husband,

in my high school yearbook,

‘Cause I’m a vampire for vintage,

and I need that stale sweet blood.

I need some seasoned love,

because tomorrow’s man,

doesn’t factor into my future.

I want a face and heart,

with character,

and an earth of experience,

to impact upon my sun.

-x-


RECENT CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Darling, Desperate, Dismal Girl
Amor, Amor

Always The Mistress, Never The Mrs


RECENT UPCOMING COLLECTION PREVIEWS
“The Two I’s” from Baby Steps
“Baby Back There” from Ours

“Window Shop” from Ours

“Beach Walk” from Ours

RECENT BLOGS
Thought Provoking Stories In Your Horror Movies? It’s More Likely Than You’d Think!
Get To Know Me 🙂

Things About Rings


COME FIND ME
Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen
Facebook
Patreon
Tumblr

Follow

Anything to be with you.

I’ll go where the trail of your heart desires,

melting at my core,

on an endless exploration.

Anything to burn with you.

Show me the jaw of the jungle,

let me sleep in it’s swallow,

axed by the acid that awaits me.

I’m not afraid,

to die for our journey,

lost to your longing for the universe.

Anything to breathe with you.

Take me to the highest point,

to the ends of the earth,

and into the sun,

to burn up,

at the very thought of you.


RECENT CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Darling, Desperate, Dismal Girl
Amor, Amor

Always The Mistress, Never The Mrs


RECENT UPCOMING COLLECTION PREVIEWS
“The Two I’s” from Baby Steps
“Baby Back There” from Ours

“Window Shop” from Ours

“Beach Walk” from Ours

RECENT BLOGS
Thought Provoking Stories In Your Horror Movies? It’s More Likely Than You’d Think!
Get To Know Me 🙂

Things About Rings


COME FIND ME
Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen
Facebook
Patreon
Tumblr

Thought Provoking stories in your horror movies? It’s more likely than you’d think!

I know, I know. I’m late with my Get Out thinkpiece, but to be fair, it was released later here in the UK, and also this isn’t so much a Get Out thinkpiece, as a plea for the real world to stop treating horror movies as the annoying little sibling who doesn’t deserve to sit at the grown up table. Let us begin.

I thought Get Out was phenomenal (please don’t ask me how many times I had to type that word to get rid of the dreaded red line, I am not the best speller..), and one of the best horror movies I’ve seen in 2017 so far. Daniel Kaluuya has always been an actor I’ve enjoyed watching, since I first saw him on BBC’s eclectic horror comedy series, Psychoville. He continued to impress over the years, and really gave a stellar showing in Get Out, as the hero, Chris. The writing was clever and engaging, and the entire film was a blood soaked joy to watch, which is exactly what I want in a horror film.

la-et-hc-get-out-horror-peele-20161004-snap

Daniel Kaluuya, star of Jordan Peele’s Get Out.

As a child of an interracial relationship, and a participant in a few (well, considering I’m literally a mixture of two races, I think, biologically speaking, any relationship I have will be interracial, but I’m being pedantic), I am well aware of not only how great they can be, but also the sobering difficulties that interracial couples can face, outside of their own loved up bubble. It isn’t just obvious prejudice, but subtle “well meaning” issues. Of course, someone threatening to burn your house down, or kill you for being in a relationship outside of your race is noticeable, but there are acts of prejudice that will sometimes fly under the radar, and this film expertly and fearlessly exposes racist microagressions and opens up discussion of the full scope of racism, including the well meaning allies who still, however accidental play a part in racism, and of course, the “I’m not racist, but…” crowd.

It achieves this without being patronising to those who may want to help break down barriers and use their privilege to help people, in a way that The Green Inferno, Eli Roth’s cannibal holocaust edge lord, try hard rip off tribute attempted to do, but didn’t quite manage. The message was much clearer, didn’t sound condescending, and the conspiracy theories were at least well explained, related to the topic at hand and not just yelled out by a caged hipster. That makes a lot more sense if you’ve seen The Green Inferno, and if you have a few hours to spare, it’s on amazon prime, and while a bit crap, it’s kind of a laugh, even if it’s just for how seriously it takes itself.

Get Out is by no means the first horror movie to confront real world issues, but it’s massive success has opened up potential new viewers to all the great things horror as a genre has to offer, including but not limited to “woke” horror (and by that I don’t mean Nightmare On Elm Street), and sent a clear message to the bigger studios that not only is horror worth investing in outside of October releases, but that mindless horror isn’t the only profitable option.

Horror is, in my opinion a great genre to explore and discuss the harsh realities of life, because is there really any more realistic a picture of humanity than one of humanity in peril? The truth of who we are and why we are that way is easily exposed under the threat of death, whether it’s from zombies, ghosts, cannibals, or your unfriendly neighbourhood racist.

Zombie movies, as overexposed as they might have been in recent years are a great example of privilege in action. Working class people are normally the first victims in the apocalypse, because, well, they’re at work, surrounded by people, some of which may be zombies, and they don’t have helicopters, huge cars or boats to get away from the carnage. I can tell you right now, the second Z Day comes, I will be one of the first to go. I don’t drive, I don’t have a cool method of escape, and it takes me at least two hours of commuting on public transport to get home of an evening. I’ll be eaten before I make it past Bluewater. Meanwhile, those richer than me will have better means of escaping. Whether they’ll be anything left to escape to at the end of the day is anyone’s guess, but they’ll have a better chance than me. Is this fair? No. Is it the way life currently is for me? Yes.

MV5BYWMzMzgwMjItMGI1ZC00MGY0LTgwY2MtMWQ0NzQ2MDZiMDE0XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjExMDIwNzA@._V1_SY1000_CR0,0,717,1000_AL_

The Rezort, one of the most recent Zombie movies to shine a light on the true price of not being able to afford safety in a disaster.

This is of course reminiscent of real life natural disasters, in which money can go a long way to preserving your safety, while the underprivileged don’t have the resources to have safeguards in place, or any way to help themselves when disaster strikes. While zombies might be a fantasy, the fact that in a crisis, large parts of the world’s population will be fucked over because they are from a lower economical standing and don’t have access to things that will help them is not.

The recent debate over women’s rights to their own bodies has also been covered numerous times in horror. Classic film Rosemary’s Baby is a harrowing look at the lack of autonomy women hold over their bodies. Not only is Rosemary sexually assaulted by a demon, her husband casually lies and states that he had sex with her when she was unconscious, to cover the fact that she was sexually assaulted by a demonic presence. During her pregnancy, her concerns are silenced and she is eventually forced to mother the Antichrist.

picture-of-rosemarys-baby-photo.jpg

One of the most iconic Mother’s in cinema history was the most unwilling.

While I’m not aware of cases of women being raped by demons, or forced to carry the Antichrist to full term, I am aware of cases of women being raped in the real world, and having their fears and concerns silenced, I am aware of women in the real world who are denied a choice on carrying a child to full term, and the fact that these realities are not just playing out on a screen, and are, in some sense real, should terrify us, but like many of the characters in Rosemary’s Baby, people will find ways to justify women being treated this way, or will just ignore it.

While many see Saw as a yearly money raising exercise for Lionsgate, the Saw series did contain a hard dose of reality along with it’s gore. There are people who think like John Kramer, and believe they have a right to play God because they are unhappy with people’s attitudes, there are corrupt police officers like Mark Hoffman who will use the power entrusted to them by their communities to commit crimes, and they’ll try and justify them too. There are people like Amanda Young, who are vulnerable, and can form great bonds with those that abuse them, whether it’s the one who enabled her drug habit, or the one who stuck a bear trap on her head and forced her to disembowel a man. These people may never see themselves as abusers, they may see themselves as saving their victim, but the reality is, Amanda Young was a victim of abuse, those that abused her, especially John Kramer insisted that it was her own fault. He insisted that he “fixed” her, he brainwashed her until she believed it. In the real world, this is called victim blaming, and while John suffered for it, many in the real world do not.

Shawneesmithjigsawtrap

Amanda Young, one of the many abuse victims who was blamed by her abuser for her own trauma.

I could go on about the horrific but quite realistic aspects of the long and winding Saw saga, but I don’t have all the time in the world, and the fact is, it may have handled some of them in a clumsy manner, but the series confronts many of the world’s injustices, and tells the story of many oppressed people through it’s long and bloody journey.

I’ve barely scratched the surface, and horror is a genre full of excellent commentary on the state of humanity, and what complacency to the issues of your fellow man can bring you, and while it is unfortunate that a lot of it is written off due to the storytelling devices used, it is my hope that in the future, horror will be taken as seriously as other genres, and the messages it contains will be given as much attention as other genres.

Besos,

J x



RECENT CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Darling, Desperate, Dismal Girl
Amor, Amor

Always The Mistress, Never The Mrs


RECENT UPCOMING COLLECTION PREVIEWS
“The Two I’s” from Baby Steps
“Baby Back There” from Ours

“Window Shop” from Ours

“Beach Walk” from Ours

RECENT BLOGS
Get To Know Me 🙂
Things About Rings

My 2017 Goals

COME FIND ME
Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen
Facebook
Patreon
Tumblr

The Two I’s

My hands are dead,

done with drawing deeds we never did,

and my heart is hardened,

from hearing what it cannot have.

I’m saved by my sanity,

until it leaves,

through the same door she did,

then I’m helpless to myself.

She said I was intelligent,

until I was “insane”.

I’m insane enough to wait my life for her,

and intelligent enough to make it art.


RECENT CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Darling, Desperate, Dismal Girl
Amor, Amor

Always The Mistress, Never The Mrs


RECENT UPCOMING COLLECTION PREVIEWS
“Baby Back There” from Ours
“Window Shop” from Ours

“Beach Walk” from Ours

RECENT BLOGS
Things About Rings
Tis The Season To Be Bad At Wrapping Presents🙂
 
Lipsticks I Love

COME FIND ME
Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen
Facebook
Patreon
Tumblr

World Poetry Day :)

Hola amigos,

Today is World Poetry Day, so here are some poems that I’ve finished up.

I’ve written about quite a few things that I’ve been thinking about lately, such as the difficult journey to loving yourself, the unfortunate news of privacy leaks for public figures, my regrets from the past and my hopes for the future, and I hope you enjoy reading them.

Besos,

J x


 

 

darling-desperate-dismal-girl-jennifer-juan

Torch Song

Manicure

Ready For Love

Remembering Royalty

Poor Man’s Ecstasy 

Home Movies

Running

Education For Pleasure 

Screening

Inheritance 

Yayo, Yano

My Funny Galentine 

Magic Show 

Compeyson

Nineteen

One Great Marriage 

-x-

Torch Song

Each endless escalation,

and asinine argument,

ends under your eyes,

before finding the floor.

I’ve told you before,

that I love you, and loathe you,

and there’s nobody else,

that I’d torch myself for.

I torture myself,

to replays of our wars,

my blazing hot heart,

is ash, when yours invades mine.

-x-

Manicure

I don’t recall a single thing about you,

except for the tornado,

mailed to my midsection,

when I heard your name.

I think I forgot,

perhaps out of spite,

or in the knowledge,

you had no knowledge of me.

I couldn’t say what captivated me,

and I’ve lost the list of my lust filled longing,

it fell from my pocket,

when I fell out of love.

I’ve lost the heart, I was so sure I had,

that was all the better for your scars.

My newest is refurbished,

fresh and functional.

I’m busy doing my nails,

and you mean nothing at all.

-x-

Ready For Love

I am the ghost of romance past,

and you won’t sleep at all tonight.

I’m a throwback lover,

with those old fashioned tricks,

that feel brand new,

to your played out playbook.

You call, for once,

just to see how it feels,

and we bloom,

like the flowers you learned that I like.

We dance in a darkened alley,

behind the railway station,

while a million passers by,

stamp out a sweet, street symphony.

You lend me your favourite jacket,

as you summon up the stars,

and the frightened fuckboy disappears,

replaced by a man, ready for love.

-x-

Remembering Royalty

She can sit on my throne,

but it’s been embroidered,

with the memory of how I’d sink into silk,

and survey your starvation for me.

My image is carved in the arm,

with ambitious promise.

As she rises,

you’ll be mournful,

of the majesty that rests with me,

and while there have been a million princesses,

only I have been your Queen.

-x-

Poor Man’s Ecstasy

Night comes around,

and my cap is on your carpet.

I’ve become more of a need,

as you neck my dangerous, delicious dessert.

It’s always the last time,

until you remember the first time,

and we have all the time,

the world allows.

I’m just no good,

but I’m not bad either.

I’m a poisoned Parma Violet,

I’m in your mouth every day,

as if it won’t end us both.

You’ll throw me up,

to the sky,

in a bowl,

and across the carpet,

where my cap lies.

You’ll come back,

and I’ll be waiting,

because we just can’t quit.

-x-

Home Movies

We’d go through the motions,

but our joints are bent and busted,

and when we touch each other,

our minds are miles away.

You’ve got your brand new ingénue,

and your best friend is your understudy,

but we still pretend I’m your movie star,

and you’re my leading man.

The carpet stained so long ago,

but I vacuumed in earnest.

The door isn’t locked but we dare not step out,

in case we find a reason to never come back.

We’ve been lying on “I love you still”,

so long, we’re still and solemn,

and the words are tasteless in the mouths,

that only kiss out of habit.

The children tower over us,

projecting what we have,

a dark but shallow shadow,

far from the heights of the past.

We’re past home improvements,

the paint we chose was discontinued,

we can’t agree on a wallpaper,

so we may as well tear this old house down.

-x-

Running 

I admit I spent my money on shots,

but I know I spent no time on you.

Your imagination ran away,

almost as fast as I did,

at the thought of the future you foretold.

-x-

Education For Pleasure

I’m mint green,

in experience and in envy.

My curriculum is cursed, with you,

I learn to lean

with the sways of your seduction,

yet your favourite student,

chews gum,

comes late,

and has her name scrawled on your desk,

along with a billion bad boys,

you pretend not to notice.

I’ve a notebook, with your name,

not that you’ll ever see,

and my heart, broken and begging,

crawls back to each letter,

no matter how far they pull away.

Far in the future,

when she gleefully graduates,

I’ll wait, hopeful and hung up.

The girl at your desk,

waiting to ink your initials,

on her soul.

-x-

Screening

Baby, you were made for the movies,

but I can’t share you with the silver screen.

Your beauty beams throughout the theatre,

and the world watches what I’ve waited my life for.

Some nights,

as your shirt sheds your skin,

and your body is mine,

I hate you.

Your shirt has been shed for other eyes,

and your body is second hand,

and my hands take it personally.

You have loved before me,

You’ve had joy before me,

but you were my first screening,

and you’re vintage.

I want to go home.

I’m not made for this monotony,

to toil under jealousy,

through our Hollywood love affair,

but my eyes belong to you,

and rest, so obsessed,

on your body,

no matter who else has had the pleasure.

-x-

Inheritance 

It sits beneath my skin,

just waiting to tear down desperate defences,

built on a budget,

so I never became what I’ve seen.

Cut me out of your will,

as accidental as your gift is,

not hurled with hate,

but handed with hope,

that one day, I’ll understand.

I understand all to well,

the harrowing, harmful hell,

that hangs inside your head,

and loiters at the back of my brain.

The blue babies want it,

and it’s creeping closer,

though I put an ocean between us,

it swims,

insistent zombie,

to feast on my thoughts.

-x-

Yayo, Yano

I want you in my veins,
in my soul,
in my bed.

Slip under the sheets,
slip under my skin,
slip under my safety.

You’re simply unforgettable,
illegal for good reason,
but a moment with you,
will be savoured for my stretch,
no matter the bars that hold me,
I’ll remember the bars where you held me.


Tell me where I can buy you,
on a cracked out corner,
from a cracked out cad,
I’ll part with my heart,
if you promise you’ll find some feeling,
in the love starved bones that I call home.

-x-

My Funny Galentine 

She told me she loved me,

and it felt foreign,

frightening,

fundamental.

All at once,

and never at all,

I wanted to believe,

even if I was hidden under hatred,

a free gift with the magazines,

that found their way into my basket,

even though they hated my guts,

and my eyebrows,

and my cellulite,

and my.. well, you know,

everything.

The whispers of the world,

and the fiction of normality,

are nothing, when I’m in love.

I have the merry way she laughs,

her eyebrows, wild as her spirit,

sweet cellulite, and sweeter smiles,

and everything, yes, everything,

is mine to love, for the rest of my life.

-x-

Magic Show

You, mischievous magician,

pulled off your finest trick,

when you made my morals vanish,

and my heart run from my body,

to your waiting, wasted arms.

I’m the empress of our mess,

cowardly courageous.

My crown is made of lies we told,

and I sleep well knowing,

you’re sleeping with your enemy.

-x-

Compeyson

Too late to love you,

through the aching annex,

where your hollow heart sleeps,

with nightmares of me.

Twenty to nine,

twenty to nine,

twenty to nine.

You’ll never be mine.

The world on the shoulders,

of the white wishes you wore.

I could kiss apologies,

on the long dead lips,

soothe the scorched skin,

our world back in motion.

Twenty to nine,

ten to nine,

nine.

You are mine.

The world shared between us,

and your wishes, my goals.

Yet darling, desperate, dismal girl,

I’m simply not inclined.

-x-

Nineteen

It’s so funny how I’m nostalgic

for the worst nights of my life,

when my tears were blue,

and my soul was white.

Before I learned to love the fire,

that licked along the lines,

that separated us,

societal,

psychological,

physical,

consequential.

Before we crashed,

two car smash,

uninsured, with no licence,

and so intense,

before you pulled me from the wreckage,

and ran me down, again and again.

I bask in my bad dreams,

of broken you and me,

and I love it,

and I love you,

and I love us.

-x-

One Great Marriage 

He says he loves his girl Slim,

I know it’s just a name.

His hands will follow my waist,

no matter how far it goes.

Twenty first of May,

may I have our love forever?

I’m seasick, as he waves at me,

I shake myself to pieces,

bayside bae, and his party girl,

so satisfied in his storm.

He won’t dance with me until we’re alone,

the crowds can’t get enough of us,

but he’ll be at home waiting,

a better buzz than I’ll find at any bar.

I whistle, impatient, and he runs,

everything important surrounds me,

as he closes me into his arms.

I am his last love,

and he, my first.

Hello, baby,

don’t ever say goodbye.

-x-

Leaks

Decorated in fantasy,

and infamy,

built by the dreams of those who daren’t,

though I do.

For them,

with them,

by their design,

and by the blueprints of a small dreamer,

who flew past never,

when nobody could,

and reached the stars.

I was perfect until they printed a new me,

that I hadn’t seen.

I knew her beginnings,

I’d lived her beginnings,

and every other second too,

and it was mine,

until it was mined from my mind,

and shared,

suddenly sordid,

through the mouths and minds,

and hateful hands.

Suddenly,

as I removed my clothes,

for myself,

they jumped from the walls,

uninvited,

and removed my achievements,

and my voice,

and my heart,

as if any part of my body was theirs to take.

When I lay alone,

on the judgemental floor,

surrounded by damning decor,

they wondered why I wept,

and asked if they could take my tears too.

 


RECENT CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Darling, Desperate, Dismal Girl
Amor, Amor
Always The Mistress, Never The Mrs


RECENT UPCOMING COLLECTION PREVIEWS
“Baby Back There” from Ours
“Window Shop” from Ours

“Beach Walk” from Ours

RECENT BLOGS
Things About Rings
Tis The Season To Be Bad At Wrapping Presents🙂
 
Lipsticks I Love

COME FIND ME
Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen
Facebook
Patreon
Tumblr

Compeyson

Too late to love you,

through the aching annex,

where your hollow heart sleeps,

with nightmares of me.

Twenty to nine,

twenty to nine,

twenty to nine.

You’ll never be mine.

The world on the shoulders,

of the white wishes you wore.

I could kiss apologies,

on the long dead lips,

soothe the scorched skin,

our world back in motion.

Twenty to nine,

ten to nine,

nine.

You are mine.

The world shared between us,

and your wishes, my goals.

Yet darling, desperate, dismal girl,

I’m simply not inclined.


RECENT CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Amor, Amor
Always The Mistress, Never The Mrs

What Do Little Girls Dream Of?


RECENT UPCOMING COLLECTION PREVIEWS
“Baby Back There” from Ours
“Window Shop” from Ours

“Beach Walk” from Ours

RECENT BLOGS
Things About Rings
Tis The Season To Be Bad At Wrapping Presents🙂
 
Lipsticks I Love

COME FIND ME
Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen
Facebook
Patreon
Tumblr

White Cliffs Of Dover

I’m on a cliff,

and on the sea floor,

in a moment,

if I want it.

I don’t hear Vera,

or love, or laughter,

just waves and wind,

and the rushing of my stillness.

Erode me to the air,

or save me from myself,

right now, it doesn’t matter,

and neither does what led me here.


RECENT CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Amor, Amor
Always The Mistress, Never The Mrs

What Do Little Girls Dream Of?


RECENT UPCOMING COLLECTION PREVIEWS
“Baby Back There” from Ours
“Window Shop” from Ours

“Beach Walk” from Ours

RECENT BLOGS
Things About Rings
Tis The Season To Be Bad At Wrapping Presents🙂
 
Lipsticks I Love

COME FIND ME
Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen
Facebook
Patreon
Tumblr

My Funny Galentine

 

She told me she loved me,

and it felt foreign,

frightening,

fundamental.

All at once,

and never at all,

I wanted to believe,

even if I was hidden under hatred,

a free gift with the magazines,

that found their way into my basket,

even though they hated my guts,

and my eyebrows,

and my cellulite,

and my.. well, you know,

everything.

The whispers of the world,

and the fiction of normality,

are nothing, when I’m in love.

I have the merry way she laughs,

her eyebrows, wild as her spirit,

sweet cellulite, and sweeter smiles,

and everything, yes, everything,

is mine to love, for the rest of my life.


RECENT CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Amor, Amor
Always The Mistress, Never The Mrs

What Do Little Girls Dream Of?


RECENT UPCOMING COLLECTION PREVIEWS
“Baby Back There” from Ours
“Window Shop” from Ours

“Beach Walk” from Ours

RECENT BLOGS
Things About Rings
Tis The Season To Be Bad At Wrapping Presents🙂
 
Lipsticks I Love

COME FIND ME
Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen
Facebook
Patreon
Tumblr

One Great Marriage

He says he loves his girl Slim,
I know it’s just a name.
His hands will follow my waist,
no matter how far it goes.

Twenty first of May,
may I have our love forever?
I’m seasick, as he waves at me,
I shake myself to pieces,
bayside bae, and his party girl,
so satisfied in his storm.

He won’t dance with me until we’re alone,
the crowds can’t get enough of us,
but he’ll be at home waiting,
a better buzz than I’ll find at any bar.

I whistle, impatient, and he runs,
everything important surrounds me,
as he closes me into his arms.
I am his last love,
and he, my first.
Hello, baby,
don’t ever say goodbye.


RECENT CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Always The Mistress, Never The Mrs
What Do Little Girls Dream Of?

Enemy Of The State

RECENT UPCOMING COLLECTION PREVIEWS
“Baby Back There” from Ours
“Window Shop” from Ours

“Beach Walk” from Ours

RECENT BLOGS
Tis The Season To Be Bad At Wrapping Presents🙂 
Lipsticks I Love

You Don’t Have To Be Alone

COME FIND ME
Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen
Facebook
Patreon