Sincerely, Jennifer x

God,
it’s your girl again,
and she’s made a mess,
but isn’t life just a sequence of mess and the stress of cleaning up?
I’m just asking you not to give up on me yet.

One day,
I’ll pray, just to say hello,
and there will be no crisis and no long wish lists,
just a cool, calming silence…
Just not today,
because I’m back again,
back,
up to my old tricks,
back on my bullshit,
back on my knees with fluttering eyelashes and that baby voice I use,
when I want to give a man the blues…

You know I’d normally never use it for you,
but a girl has to do what a girl has to do.
I spent my whole life doing what a girl has to do,
and the only reward was bitterness and trauma,
so,
just this once,
will you give me that cool, calming silence,
even if I haven’t earned it?