Sincerely, Jennifer x

It had been too long,
stuck in silent tunnels,
dark nights that seemed to last for weekends,
wandering in a dream that wasn’t mine.

It had to end.

I said it to myself so many times,
softly, decisively, persuasively, pleadingly,
playing myself by playing into the delusion that it’s all behind me, and I’ve been bathing in sunlight since I saw you last.

I had become the bride of a mountain,
determined never to stray, never to scale to the ground and see the world for what it is.

There was nothing for me down there,
nothing at all,
until I fell,
toppling towards the waiting world,
no longer stuck in the station or struggling to scale my obstacles.

I was hurtling towards humankind’s greatest enemy,
and losing control of my mind and my heart with every hurried, heated conversation.

As I fell from heaven’s hands,
I hung my hopes on a dream of somebody else,
and I knew that it had ended.

Relief is a strange taste.