New poems :)

Hola Amigos,

Below are a few things I’ve written lately, as well as some old stuff I updated and adapted so that it may see the light of day.

It was really interesting to look through some older stuff, and see what kind of things I was writing, and to remember all the over dramatic thoughts and feelings that often accompanied my writing process back then. Things are a lot more relaxed now. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m more mature in how I handle emotions, or if it’s because I’ve become apathetic and numb with old age, but either way, it’s a lot less of an editing headache. Angsty teen Jen was a pain in the ass.

I really hope you like them!

Besos,

J x

darling-dawn-jennifer-juan

Alliterated Aspiration

Never needed nothing,
except everything.
On one objective,
eyes ether,
burned by buying basic boys.
Underwhelming undertones,
shallow senses, shadowed sensuality.
I invest in intermittent intimidation,
here hides heaven,
damnation delayed.

-x-

Dreaming In Diamonds

Baby, I won’t tire of your tired face.
I’ll wait,
dreaming in diamonds,
for the eventual “I suppose, I do.”
I play you my K Pop playlist,
because I know it makes no sense to you,
just like this love makes no sense to you,
but that face does more than jewels can do.
Won’t you wait?
Dreaming in desperation,
for the eventual “Of course, I do.”

-x-

Insatiable, Incurable, Inescapable

I picked my poison,
higher than my heels,
drank you down.
So nice, no spice.
Oh darling, you swam to my veins.
Insatiable, insatiable you.

I surrendered to your seductive swarm,
and a label, pastel pink,
drag me down.
Sin ti, who me?
Oh darling, where’s your antidote?
Incurable, Incurable you.

I live for every lasting look,
just as I’m sure you intended,
hunt me down.
Will you? Won’t you?
Oh darling, there’s no need to run, now.
Inescapable, inescapable you.

-x-

Tears On My Pillow

There were no tears on my pillow,
for all you left were purple paintings,
tinged with the darkest sky,
on the legs you said you loved,
that stayed covered all summer long,
housing your latest exhibit.
My heart was the least of my worries,
but, oh, how she worried,
that the rest of me wouldn’t survive.
You’re not my past,
or so I pretend,
I wallpaper my woes,
now I’ve escaped being your canvas.

-x-

What I Did For Hate

I can regret what I did for hate,
but it’s not my style,
and that’s all I have left.
You follow,
a dead dame’s rep in your wake.
This is some so legit shit,
except I’ve already gone Gaga,
and there is nothing in your lips,
but the sob story you stand on.
I do business like a man,
and you’re still bawling like a baby.
You whine, and dine,
on the same narcissistic narrative,
drown yourself at the river you wrote,
waiting on the ocean floor,
for the applause you said you didn’t need.

-x-

Radio Therapy

If you have to be gone,
then keep warm,
because I’m tortured by your sickness.
If I can’t have one last kiss,
then guard the ones you give,
and keep them from the likes of me.
My love,
you have to roam the world,
because like me, it will always miss you.
Paint the town red,
just like your lips were,
when I’d kiss you.
God, I miss you.
Shop when you’re hungry,
dance when you’re happy,
and live like I never broke your heart.
Betsy Brye’s on the radio,
and you’re on my mind,
as always.
When she gets through this number,
you’ll still be through with me,
but,
oh,
I want you so.

-x-

Dying And Destroying

I kiss your rosy wrists,
their icy touch burns and blisters.
Your lungs lie still,
quite content with silence,
so stuck on stillness.
Open eyes, look past me,
the whole world,
lost in your lens,
the whole world,
draining as the blood drains from your face,
and I start to forget the world.
There is no world,
it is slipping,
with no “wet floor” sign.
Each breath without you,
sends another piece of planet stumbling.
Breathe again,
so I can breathe without dying and destroying.

-x-

Further Astronomy

He told me,
he didn’t like me,
but he thought he’d try,
and see if he could stand me.
He insisted on us kissing,
despite his demands that I not read into it,
it was hard to do anything but.
Kissing is a complicated language,
only for the lips of lovers,
different dialects for different couples,
so we didn’t understand each other a bit.

-x-

Darling Dawn

As darling Dawn is dragged,
back to the foot of the sky,
life breaks in,
strips the playful from my planet,
until I crash land into a rigid reality.
I’m not playing astronauts anymore.
The shadows of solitude,
stalk from their hiding spots,
surround me,
singing of my surrender,
before I have even been brave enough to speak.
I will be brave.
A deep, dangerous breath,
I have inhaled intuition,
I’m built stronger than my enemies.
Under the moonlight,
I will duel with the darkness of doubt,
until Darling Dawn arrives once more,
his arms around my waist, and a kiss upon my cheek.
His honey hello in my ear, and the words I longed for.
“Good girl.”

-x-

Panda Princess

When we fight,
my old face washes off in the storm,
leaving a panda princess.
When silent, you make sense,
I don’t understand your spoken nonsense.
In the dark of early morning,
when shadows play,
let me play on your mind.
I’ll lay kisses on your vocabulary,
and force you to be sweeter in the morning.

-x-

Anything But This

The trigger’s in your complex cortex,
and you’ve never won a game of roulette.
Callous chemistry, the house always wins.
Don’t play this round.
I know a good ice cream place,
the casino never was your scene.
Movies, drag shows, home, the beach.
Just anywhere but here, and now, and this.
Anything but this.
Let’s go see the Golden Gate,
but let us stay in the middle.
We can walk down any road,
we can soar like seagulls,
while we’re still grounded.
We never went to see some art together.
You know I won’t care,
but why not try?
There’s so much left to see,
even though your eyes say “No” today.
I’ll plead with them,
as I plead with you,
to give yourself another chance.
Just anything but this.
You know you’ll miss this town,
and you’ll miss the way that I miss you.
Can’t we get another round,
I promise I won’t touch a drop.
I promise,
I promise whatever it takes.
Just anything but this.
I know we’ve seen a million days,
but let’s see one more together,
and then another.
I know I’m selfish,
but, whatever you want.
Just anything, but this.

-x-

On the town

Everybody’s shaking hands,
blinded by glare of their finger flare.
A thousand angels,
in outfits I’ll never understand.
Towering fashion,
oh baby,
it’s so high.
There’s a man on the ivory,
oh that boy thinks he’s Mr Joel.
Nobody watches, so nobody would know,
but I’ve got on eye on the instrument,
and one on a drink I can’t afford,
and I can see he’s almost there.

-x-

Discovered Among The Weeds

I have been the roses you presented her with,
her birthday lay at the back of your one track mind.
My eyes made friends with the invaded floor,
as you moved me in,
and threw her out.
Smoke was her perfume,
her eyes unlike mine,
sat atop the feet of crows,
and the lines you’d crossed.
She went mad,
new lines,
made of clear ink adorned her face,
as I was put in a vase of icy water.
Maybe, you were born on a stormy day, to be my umbrella.
Maybe, you learnt to walk in my direction, to be my map.
Maybe you awoke this morning to awaken me, to be my alarm.
Maybe you drowned your old life, to be my watering can.
Maybe you will drown me one day, to sprinkle yourself over somebody else.

-x-

S

She saunters,
sensual smiles.
Someday, she’ll speak.
Slow, slinking speech.

She sips something,
soft souls sit,
salivating so she knows,
she seduced someone.

Sensational,
serene,
sultry,
so suited to “S”.
She shines.

-x-


RECENT CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Darling Dawn
Sleepwalk

El Hombre Y Su Flor

RECENT UPCOMING COLLECTION PREVIEWS
“Window Shop” from Ours
“Beach Walk” from Ours

RECENT BLOGS
British Fashion Start Up Awards Nominations 
Your body, and the hopefully happy adventures you can have
I am the worst, but…

COME FIND ME
Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen

 

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British Fashion Start Up Awards Nominations

Hola amigos!

Last Saturday, I was invited to attend the nominations party for the British Fashion Start Up Awards, hosted by FASHIONbasecamp, who have been making waves across the fashion industry with their game changing mentoring programme for new brands. I’m not the most informed about fashion, that much is obvious by the fact I wear shirts as jackets and still wear dungarees as if that is normal for a woman in her early twenties (I may however be wrong about this and be actually quite stylish, if so, do let me know), however, everyone can enjoy getting to peek inside the buzzing world of fashion, whether they are educated on the matter or not, and I certainly did.

Upon arrival at The Piano Bar, an intimate and exclusive Soho gem, a tranquil vibe filled the air. The walls held musical icons, and, as you might expect, there was a fitting soundtrack of gorgeous piano arrangements as we awaited the nominations, as well as performances by The Tall Poppies and Rosa.

Five start up brands were announced to have made it through the first round of the competition, with further finalists to be announced in October, and the competition concluding at November’s London Fashion Startup Expo, where entrants will have the chance to showcase their brand, and really make an impression.

Stacey Chan was the first nominee, a brand specialising in luxury handbags, that are designed in London and made in Italy.

Little Wardrobe was the second, a brand specialising in luxury children’s wear, ensuring that the little ones can be just as stylish as the grown ups.

Kites and Bites was the third, a contemporary brand, taking inspiration from diversity and wanderlust.

Lily & Carter was the fourth, a brand offering timeless pieces in an effort to combat fast fashion, and give a wardrobe that can last a lifetime.

Maison De Choup was the final brand nominated in this round, with a clear desire to bring awareness to young people battling anxiety, through fashion.

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RECENT CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Sleepwalk
El Hombre Y Su Flor

In His Life

RECENT UPCOMING COLLECTION PREVIEWS
“Window Shop” from Ours
“Beach Walk” from Ours

RECENT BLOGS
Your body, and the hopefully happy adventures you can have
I am the worst, but…

Ask Jen!

COME FIND ME
Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen

 

Ask Jen – September 18th

Summer asked “What do you think of bloggers and vloggers who get surgery?”

I think that any surgery anybody wants to have is up to them, because their body is really their own concern. The one thing I do have some concerns about, is that sometimes people solely glamourise it, and don’t give an honest portrayal of what it can be like, some of the follow up difficulties and things like that. I can understand why a person might not want to discuss it openly, but if you have an audience of young people, you have to be as honest as possible if you’re going to discuss something that can carry risks, because hiding unfortunate or unglamourous side effects or aftercare requirements can have a very negative effect. Basically, I think it’s fine to talk about it, or inform your followers, but only if you are capable of being completely honest about both the good and bad points.

Renae asked “What is your favorite book of all time?”

Translations by Brian Friel. I don’t know if some would count it, because it is a script, but it is a script in book form, so I am. I’m not going to give any spoilers, but it is such a beautiful exploration of language, that no matter how many times I read it, I am overwhelmed.

Joel asked “Where do you stand on the Kindle vs Paper Books debate?”

I remember seeing people passionately debating this at university all the time, and I just tried to stay out of it. I can see the benefits of both, and I do actually use both, so I’m not sure I’m the right person to ask.

Kyle asked “Do you have any pets?”

Not anymore, but I did have a dog called Max. He was a pretty chill guy, and liked Star Trek, and the Jaws movies.

Grace asked “Which, in your opinion was the best Joker?”

Mark Hamill. It isn’t even a debate. He just is.


RECENT CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Sleepwalk
El Hombre Y Su Flor

In His Life

RECENT UPCOMING COLLECTION PREVIEWS
“Window Shop” from Ours
“Beach Walk” from Ours

RECENT BLOGS
Your body, and the hopefully happy adventures you can have
I am the worst, but…

Ask Jen!

COME FIND ME
Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen

Tears On My Pillow

There were no tears on my pillow,

for all you left were purple paintings,

tinged with the darkest sky,

on the legs you said you loved,

that stayed covered all summer long,

housing your latest exhibit.

My heart was the least of my worries,

but, oh, how she worried,

that the rest of me wouldn’t survive.

You’re not my past,

or so I pretend,

I wallpaper my woes,

now I’ve escaped being your canvas.


RECENT CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Sleepwalk
El Hombre Y Su Flor

In His Life

RECENT UPCOMING COLLECTION PREVIEWS
“Window Shop” from Ours
“Beach Walk” from Ours

RECENT BLOGS
Your body, and the hopefully happy adventures you can have
I am the worst, but…

Ask Jen!

COME FIND ME
Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen

Ask Jen! – September 4th

Hola amigos,

Today, I’m going to be answering a few more of the questions you sent me.


Katie asked “When you went to Scotland, where did you go, and did you like it?”

I went to Glasgow, and it was lovely. Everyone was so friendly and polite, and it’s a really beautiful city.

Mark asked “Who would you most like to manage?”

I’d love to try managing a woman, because I think it could be a really interesting, girl power dynamic. Ideally Pollyanna, because she is immensely talented, and one of my favourite people to watch. I trained with her a few times at Progress, and she is as gracious as she is talented, so that’s always a bonus.

Rachel asked “What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?”

I like reading and writing, but I think that would be obvious at this stage. I also like to play computer games, mainly fighting games, and RPGs. I know only listing a few things makes me sound super boring, but I actually don’t get that much spare time…

Sara asked “What are your favorite kind of shoes to wear?”

Pretty much just flats, because I’m horrendously tall and I don’t want to make it worse.

Kyle asked “Would you ever post some of your old writing?”

Maybe. A lot of it is very different to what I do now, so I’d be interested to go through it and see how it looks next to what I’m currently doing. A lot of it was deeply, and almost weirdly personal though. A lot of my recent writing is very distant from me and my experiences, for the most part, whereas back then, I wrote pretty much entirely about myself, so it is a bit self absorbed and whiny.

 


RECENT CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Sleepwalk
El Hombre Y Su Flor

In His Life

RECENT UPCOMING COLLECTION PREVIEWS
“Window Shop” from Ours
“Beach Walk” from Ours

RECENT BLOGS
Your body, and the hopefully happy adventures you can have
I am the worst, but…

Ask Jen!

COME FIND ME
Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen