Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

Main Pop Girlie

The lights,
oh, the lights are in my eyes and I am hypnotised by the fruit of fear and fantasy,
I took a bite of bliss,
and everything couldn’t return to how it was before,
because I wasn’t who I was before,
and everyone is so divinely critical of the chanteuse,
hanging from the ceiling by her microphone’s cable.

The floor is unstable but I do not step on it anymore,
I soar above the screaming,
roses rising like the sea,
my solemn, sweet beats baked into the air,
and there was never anything to fear,
because they cut me down and cut to the final note,
where the lights are bright, and I can see nothing but forever.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

The Joy Of Performing

Lights up ahead,

hiding you from my view,

as I stand at the edge of expectation,

butterflies in my stomach,

my children in my mouth.

I don’t want to disappoint you,

but I imagine myself in your place,

and worry that I always will.

The lights linger,

ever stronger,

as the applause fades,

impatience begins.

I’m wearing cheap hoop earrings,

my grandmother’s ring,

my self doubt sticks in my throat,

so I drink in some stuffy air,

peppered with my perfume,

and bite my bottom lip,

tasting golden gloss and freezing fear.

My children are impatient.

I’ve told them that they’re loved so many times,

that they began to believe it,

now they long to meet the lovers who have paid to pick them apart (I never told them about that part),

so,

I take the children,

one by one,

and show them off to a gasping,

grateful crowd,

my smiling children shine,

stepping,

shy along the stage,

shimmering in the spotlight,

coming alive,

growing and glowing with adoration.

When the lights leave,

I am exhausted,

existing,

because I can do no more,

disassociating in a dressing room,

surrounded by my children,

their edges frayed,

pages parched and crumpled in tired hands.

I can still hear the applause,

and for a second,

it sustains me.

Posted in Blog

New Live Event

Hola amigos,

I will be performing at the first event held by The Week Behind Bars, in London. Looking forward to seeing you guys there!

You can find more details or buy tickets here.

Besos,

J x


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Sad Girl’s Love Song
Drowning In Us
What Ever Happened To Baby Jen?

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