Lying,
beside myself,
I am infinite,
for a moment.
Betrayed,
by how I portray the complexities,
of where I am,
as oh, so simple.
Black veil at dawn,
I sit under the sun,
as it stretches out,
waking up.
I am wondering,
if the sun will stay,
and if I am enough for her to love.
A little ray,
finds my freckles,
a little kiss,
a little reminder,
that I am always her beloved,
no matter where I venture,
my misadventures,
never make her love me less.
I was rich once,
in an immaterial sense,
blessed to be sure of my journey,
and the things that I’d become,
but I’ve also been a widow,
far too many times,
in a long term relationship,
with regret.
The sun will sleep soon,
by my side.
I bridge the gaps in my memories,
with fantasies,
where everything worked out,
with whichever “never again” I’ve invited back today.
I want to be happy,
but perhaps,
I’ve forgotten how.
Sometimes,
I think it might take me by surprise,
and I’ll remember,
as if by magic,
how to forget.
Would you let me be happy,
if I asked you?