Misadventure

Lying,

beside myself,

I am infinite,

for a moment.

Betrayed,

by how I portray the complexities,

of where I am,

as oh, so simple.

Black veil at dawn,

I sit under the sun,

as it stretches out,

waking up.

I am wondering,

if the sun will stay,

and if I am enough for her to love.

A little ray,

finds my freckles,

a little kiss,

a little reminder,

that I am always her beloved,

no matter where I venture,

my misadventures,

never make her love me less.

I was rich once,

in an immaterial sense,

blessed to be sure of my journey,

and the things that I’d become,

but I’ve also been a widow,

far too many times,

in a long term relationship,

with regret.

The sun will sleep soon,

by my side.

I bridge the gaps in my memories,

with fantasies,

where everything worked out,

with whichever “never again” I’ve invited back today.

I want to be happy,

but perhaps,

I’ve forgotten how.

Sometimes,

I think it might take me by surprise,

and I’ll remember,

as if by magic,

how to forget.

Would you let me be happy,

if I asked you?