Posted in Blog

You Worry Too Much

Apparently,

I worry too much.

I mean,

It’s only my emotional well-being on the line,

when I’m lying in bed wondering what the fuck he’s thinking,

so why worry at all,

right?

I don’t take rejection well,

but how long into a thing does rejection become something more,

because we are something more?

My cards told me not to judge him,

with the punishments of my past,

because he’s different,

but I’m different.

I used to be able to just close my eyes,

give myself over to the system,

and all that shit,

but now I overthink,

like my life depends on it,

because in a way,

it kind of does.

Let’s not get it twisted,

I’m still too much of a narcissist to kill myself,

and emotionally stable enough not to consider it,

but wasting another few months,

wailing into word documents,

about how much my heart hurts is definitely an option.

He’s very affectionate.

I remember briefly waking up in his bed,

feeling a kiss on my forehead,

as he pulled the blankets back around me,

and journeyed off in search of something to do,

but not someone to do,

and that’s pretty crucial to note.

I worry too much.

I know.

He knows.

My cards know,

but we all know why.

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