I have…
I have a thing that I’m not ready to discuss out loud,
because it means I have to leave her behind,
the girl I always thought I was.
I am…
I am not okay,
and apparently,
that’s okay,
but it seems very not okay,
when everyone socially distances from my crisis,
like I’m infectious.
I have…
I have always wanted to have a child,
but I’m afraid,
that there is something deep inside of me,
that will find its way to them,
and then,
they will wish I hadn’t bothered,
because it will bother them every day,
following like a hunter,
waiting to strike,
and switch them for someone else,
like it did to me.
I know I would love them,
like nobody else ever would,
the way I love everyone that has the misfortune to meet my heart,
but it wouldn’t be enough,
to earn their forgiveness,
for inflicting it on them.
I am…
I am letters on a letter,
from somebody smarter than me,
that says,
to put it simply,
that I am the Queen of Cluster C,
destined never to be cured,
but keeping it cute,
until I don’t,
and then,
I am not okay,
and it’s not okay,
despite all the tweets and Facebook posts that say something different.
