I stare into snow globes,
stacked around my bed,
like a circle of salt.
Few minutes to midnight,
I’ve always been running out of time,
but it never felt so final,
and I never wanted to slow down before,
because the world barely moves,
but I feel myself being pulled to places I know I’ll never escape.
I stare into snow globes.
I think I might belong there.
Winter weather waiting on my roof,
a lonely cabin in another life,
where I am not my own worst enemy.
It’s been twenty eight years since I showed up,
and twenty eight years since I made plans to run away.
I’ve been the same old girl this whole time,
every now and then,
I wear the diamond earrings that a guilty ghost got me for my birthday,
when I was seventeen,
too young to hear the clear message they had,
and I stare into snow globes,
that I purchased,
and hoarded,
holding them around my bed,
like a circle of salt.
I didn’t buy them because I felt guilty,
or because I had done heinous things,
but because I wanted something beautiful,
that didn’t remind me of ugly apologies.
I want to be safe,
one day,
but for now,
I just try not to think so much.
