Snow Globes and Diamond Earrings

I stare into snow globes,

stacked around my bed,

like a circle of salt.

Few minutes to midnight,

I’ve always been running out of time,

but it never felt so final,

and I never wanted to slow down before,

because the world barely moves,

but I feel myself being pulled to places I know I’ll never escape.

I stare into snow globes.

I think I might belong there.

Winter weather waiting on my roof,

a lonely cabin in another life,

where I am not my own worst enemy.

It’s been twenty eight years since I showed up,

and twenty eight years since I made plans to run away.

I’ve been the same old girl this whole time,

every now and then,

I wear the diamond earrings that a guilty ghost got me for my birthday,

when I was seventeen,

too young to hear the clear message they had,

and I stare into snow globes,

that I purchased,

and hoarded,

holding them around my bed,

like a circle of salt.

I didn’t buy them because I felt guilty,

or because I had done heinous things,

but because I wanted something beautiful,

that didn’t remind me of ugly apologies.

I want to be safe,

one day,

but for now,

I just try not to think so much.