Sincerely, Jennifer x

Your First Message

Blood On My Hands

River Thames at Sunset

Lost In The Woods

Car Park Kiss

The Sunrise

I Should Not Be Seeing You

I Woke Up Early, And I Missed You

I Made Coffee

Goodnight Guy

Talking In My Sleep

Do You Believe In Aliens?

Our Next Kiss

–

Your First Message

There is a nervous energy in the air,

a long, lonely corridor,

unfriendly doors,

question marks in blood,

drip down the wood,

flooding at my feet.

I wade in wine.

I stopped drinking for the summer,

because I felt dehydrated.

I had cried the sweetest months away,

and there was nothing left,

but still,

I trek along with typed up notes in hand,

blood leaking into my black suede shoes,

each step, shattering my endurance.

I knocked on every door,

knuckles, sore and screaming,

always running before they open,

because I already know what’s on the other side,

but your door is different.

I don’t knock straight away,

but I don’t run either.

I just stand by your door,

tracing your question mark with my fingers,

the blood still warm,

and you,

so inviting.

–

Blood On My Hands

Who am I to you?

Help me understand.

There is blood on my hands,

hard and baked in,

as if I spent my morning committing murders.

The blood belongs to me.

It tastes of tepid regret,

but gets sweeter every time you kiss me,

rose quartz ringing in my ears,

rose petals in my hair,

you touch me, so softly,

and I let my mind slip through my hands.

There is blood on my hands,

the remains of my restraint lies there too,

and then,

there is you,

your game is just beginning,

and the blood pours from my pen,

a curse is carved into my heart,

I draw pictures of us,

again and again,

until I draw blood.

–

River Thames at Sunset

I want to watch the Thames at sunset with you,

holding hands with you,

I want to make plans with you.

I want to see the sun,

sliding into the water,

shy of the sensation, at first,

but finding itself diving,

deep underneath the waves,

falling asleep where the bodies are buried.

I want to show you where my bodies are buried.

I want to tell you all my secrets,

in the soft light of the sunset,

hands tight together,

diving into another day,

another week,

another month with you.

I purchased a Valentine’s Day card,

for you,

because I saw it,

and I got excited at the thought of you opening it,

and remembering that to somebody,

you are as beautiful as a sunset atop a river,

a river that has seen so many love stories.

I want the river to smile at our love story,

I want you to be my Valentine,

my sunset,

my sunrise,

my river that always leads me back home.

–

Lost In The Woods

The last streams of sunlight crawl through broken, bare branches,

as night falls,

and I find myself falling on the soft ground,

surrounded by grass decorated with frost,

half dead candles, that still dare to shine, long into the night.

I find myself falling to a place I won’t escape,

I’m dreaming again,

surrounded by my spells,

my sentimental attachments to things in the real world,

that I can’t quite reach from my casa in the clouds.

I think you cast a love spell,

because I forget myself when I’m around you,

I can’t breathe when I’m around you,

and when we are apart,

my heart is not my own,

my heart just sings a lonely song she wrote,

to show you that she was devoted.

Soft and sensitive,

I sing lullabies to the falling, dying leaves,

writing your name, neatly, across their spines,

placing them gently in my hair,

feeling them fall as I walk,

leaving a trail,

so I can be sure of all the places that I adored you.

–

Car Park Kiss

There have been many sweet kisses,

in many sweet places,

but the sweetest and most special,

happened somewhere so unspectacular.

September night,

my heart heavy at the thought of going home alone,

when you’d spent so long making my world feel full.

You made those hours feel like heaven,

and as we kissed outside your car,

an empty, echoing car park became heaven too.

–

The Sunrise

When I think about you,

I see the sunrise,

in the back of my mind,

because I wrote a song,

alone in my bedroom,

about how it felt to watch you wake up,

a swarm of butterflies underneath the sheets with me,

as the sun sat on the windowsill,

watching you, along with me,

the sun,

glancing, glistening up and down your skin,

and you were so beautiful,

so blindingly beautiful.

I wrote a song,

alone in my bedroom,

about how the sun rose,

simply because it couldn’t stay away from you,

simply because it had to stare at you,

simply because you were the most beautiful thing that the sun, or I had ever seen.

When I hear that song,

I see the sunrise,

I hear the clattering of trains outside your window,

I feel your soft skin pressed against mine,

and I feel as bright as the sun,

I feel like I am in the sky,

glowing like an angel,

my heart glows like an angel, for you.

When I think about you,

I see the sunrise,

for she is my rival,

creeping through your window every morning,

to remind you that you are the most beautiful thing that the sun, or I will ever see.

Sunday sun,

wakes us up,

morning meets us,

I’m so in love…

–

I Should Not Be Seeing You

Late love,

under the stars,

under covers,

under the influence of how soft your voice is when you’re with me,

how soft your hands behave when they’re with me.

Midnight rendezvous,

tied together,

tied up in this mad romance,

my veins are clean,

but I am intoxicated,

eyes closed as you pull me closer,

the kiss felt around the world,

because my world is right here,

between your sheets.

–

I Woke Up Early, And I Missed You

There is darkness and stillness outside.

I didn’t kiss you Goodnight because I was overwhelmed with exhaustion,

falling quite suddenly,

into a deep and lonely sleep,

at about half nine,

and now it’s almost five AM,

and I am in my garden,

listening to the whispers of the wind,

early birdsong and the talking of the trees behind my house.

I want to hear your voice.

Just for a second,

I want to hear it,

I want it to surround me,

the way it does when I am next to you,

engulfed in emotion, passion,

passing from the real world to my dream world.

I go so many places when I’m in your arms,

but when I am alone,

I am stagnant,

stuck in solitude.

–

I Made Coffee

I sat for five minutes with my hands wrapped around a cup of coffee. The warmth reminded me of you, and I thought about the first one you would drink in the morning, slowly finding yourself back in the world, awake, as dawn breaks, warmth in your hands as you drink and watch the foxes play on the soft grass outside your window.

I didn’t drink. I just let the warmth wash over me, until the china was cool again, watching the swaying of the trees outside my window, wishing for something more exciting, something like foxes (you know how I love foxes), or your towering frame appearing in the morning mist, the answer to my prayers, the soft song, composed from the beating of my heart.

–

Goodnight Guy

Glittering sky behind us, as we ascend and amaze the applauding universe.

I tell you that I won’t tell a soul,

but your name is sewn inside my smile,

and everybody knows that I only smile for you.

I kissed you at three AM in a desperate dream.

It felt so real,

that I was reeling for hours,

feeling you, in ways that have just become memories (for now).

You are waiting for me,

when I awake again,

kept safe in the keys of my piano,

or waiting with a smile at the bottom of my wishing well,

well persevered in the love songs and lovesick stanzas that carry your image,

and I feel you with me,

like last night,

when we kissed in my dreams,

despite your distance.

–

Talking In My Sleep

I just want to infiltrate your intuition,

I want to let you live in the dreams I’m having.

Being mortal never suited me,

but I do it for you,

because you make it less exhausting.

I’ve been talking in my sleep,

but you’re not here to hear me,

blushing subconsciously as I sing you love songs and lullabies.

We meet in the moonlight,

midnight,

morning is no friend of mine.

I am yours for minutes,

moments in my own mind,

when I can be free.

Dawn is dangerous for girls like me,

sun rising,

signalling the end of my escape,

locking me back in a cage,

lonely and looking over the horizon,

for the sky,

that mimics the colour of your eyes.

–

Do You Believe In Aliens?

Blue highlights in the orange sky,

clouds kissing the soft sunrise.

The day unfolds and I dress up in my diamonds,

waiting at my front door,

with made up eyes and make believe dreams of you and me.

A King and Queen,

in separate kingdoms,

our palaces are warm but lonely,

there’s so much space,

when all I want is to be enclosed,

enveloped in your arms.

I can keep a secret,

sweet love,

I’ll wrap it up and keep it under my pillow,

where my cards live, and my dreams begin,

always simple and silent at first,

before I’m headfirst into new universes,

writing verses on the moon,

about the way the sunlight highlights your blue eyes,

when I wake up next to you.

You make the sun shine,

any time of the day,

when you smile down at me,

giving me a long kiss that never seems long enough,

the tempting taste of fire,

on my lips,

and in my soul.

I’m waiting at the door,

frozen,

dressed up in my diamonds,

your delicate little kitten,

only ever moving for your touch.

–

Our Next Kiss

Last night,

we had our next kiss,

deep in my dreams,

drenched in sunlight,

your eyes, held tightly to the sky,

keeping its colour for themselves,

and for so long,

I stared,

my lips, my heart, tingling and trembling.

The soft winds of Spring wrap around our bodies,

pulling us closer,

and I am so close to heaven,

holding the nine of hearts in my pocket,

as you hold me in your arms.

Maybe March 8th,

maybe some other day,

but every night in my dreams,

until my dreams desert my mind and stand before me,

tall and tempting,

lips leaving me in flames.