Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

Let Me Be Your Drug, Darling

Darling,
what have you done?
I have no right to,
but,
I wish you got high less.
You took a gamble with the guy I loved,
sending him round the roulette wheel,
ribs and pretty face,
broken by the blades of your bad habits,
while I sit on your steps,
smoking all your cigarettes,
singing sad songs to the moon.

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Darling,
just out of the way,
where I can pretend,
that I can’t see you unravelling,
revealing all the ways I wounded you,
before running away,
to pour alcohol and anxiety into my own war trophies,
won in battles,
that I lost,
far before our time.

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Darling,
I wish I could drink less,
and ignore you more,
but when I am narcotic,
I am nostalgic for you.
My disgruntled daddy,
Blake, Sid, Clyde, Romeo,
I am a glamorous groupie,
criminal chanteuse,
dying to die with you,
because living apart feels too hard.

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Darling,
when the morning comes,
my ballads replaced by birds,
who believe in the sunrise,
I hope you’ll be alive,
to understand,
that I am overstating my intentions,
and affections.
When I loved you,
I was just a girl.
I don’t know how to love you
like a grown up,
yet.



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Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Personal, Writing

I Drove You Crazy

I didn’t plan to spend so much time,

inside your mind.

Sweet sailor valentine,

dressed up in denim,

and your mother’s money,

precocious brocialist baby boy,

that I just couldn’t resist.

I never meant to mean so much,

just summer love,

or something to study,

but there I was,

traipsing through your mind.

It was just the summer.

My own was somewhere else,

sometimes,

when we kissed,

under sing song stars.

You complained about my expensive and excessive lipgloss,

and I made a mental note,

to punish you forever,

but,

you must understand,

I never meant like this.

I never meant to mean so much,

because I thought we were pretend,

so I was unaware of why you started to cry,

when I called you,

offering homework help,

and liquorice.

It was just liquorice. 

I never meant to move in to your mind.

I never meant to mean so much.

You must understand,

I didn’t think I had the right,

but,

still,

I dove inside,

and drove you crazy,

so you say.

I never meant to mean so much.


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Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Personal, Writing

The Actual Moon

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Photo by Artem Kovalev on Unsplash

I swallowed your sweet sayonara.
Wallowing in waiting,
for you to change your mind,
or tell me it was a joke.
I had icy air,
running to and fro,
through my throat,
and open mouth,
staring open mouthed,
at the denial,
deep in my veins.
I love you,
you know.
Do you know that?

I was going to buy you the moon,
because,
it’s a wonderful life,
when you’re sat with me,
just smiling,
and the moon might make you stay a while,
and smile for me again.
When you kissed me,
tonight,
I knew the shops had closed,
and I’d left things too late,
and instead,
I thought about how I’d fit the moon in a bag for life.
It hurt less,
than admitting,
there was no price I could pay,
to make you hear me,
when I stand here,
telling you,
that I love you,
you know.
Maybe you don’t know?

It’s all fine.
I promise.
I’ll get that moon into that bag,
and the air will stop staring,
if you just come back,
if you just sit here,
on this bench,
that isn’t judging us,
(or so it says),
and let me figure out what to do.
I know the shops are closed,
and your mind along with them,
but I love you,
you know
and I know that you know that,
because you have to know,
after all this time.
I know you know,
that I love you.
Don’t you?

Don’t you?

Hey,
I got you the moon,
you know,
the actual moon.
Like the one up in the sky,
THE ACTUAL MOON.
I’ll keep waiting here,
with the moon in pretty paper,
(it wouldn’t fit in a bag for life),
though the icy air around me snickers,
because I love you,
and I’ve lost the receipt,
and I love you,
you know?
Do you know that?

Response to the June Writing Prompt from CreativeWritingInk.co.uk


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Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

Who?

Who will love me,
when I drop my key,
beneath the mat,
promise my suitcase,
my heart,
that we’re really going this time?

No one.
Just like you said.
No one.

I run back inside,
close the door.
Falling into your indifferent arms.
Take me back.
Take me back.
TAKE ME BACK.

“I never even noticed you were gone.”

We kiss.
I am yours,
again.
We are one,
on the kitchen counter,
and then,
again,
upstairs,
in the room,
where I dreamed of more for me,
and as you sleep,
I am seduced,
again,
by the front door.

I leave for the night,
and forever.
Who will love me?

No one.
Just like you said.

Who will love me?

I will try.


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