Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Personal, Writing

Nobody Else Is Really Here

I think what I want most in the world is to be free,

but freedom is just a dream I had,

one night,

when my mind was feeling extra generous.

I think what I want most in the world is to exist without feeling I do,

but I’m trapped,

because life is like that,

and even if you didn’t sign up,

you still have to serve your full term,

and pay your debt,

to a society that forced you into forcing your way through it.

I think what I want most in the world is to be somebody else,

or to be the me that people expect and appear to want,

but it’s too late,

and nobody else is really here.

Nobody else is really here.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

Gemini

You went mad,

because you thought I didn’t find you funny,

and you had spent every day,

before you found me,

thinking that was all you were.

It’s not that I am resigned to remaining miserable,

no,

that’s not it at all,

and I do,

on occasion,

find you amazing,

amusing,

downright confusing,

delightful,

insightful,

interesting,

and bemusing.

You are a snowstorm of sentimentality,

that swirls all around me.

I reach up,

gripping on to each new aspect of you,

that I discover,

until I am snowed under,

melting and freezing all together,

a sun tanned slushy,

trying to sum up,

all the ways I want you.

So,

don’t think,

that I don’t laugh,

sometimes,

it just has to be internal,

because I am just overwhelmed,

by the eternal ways,

you find to surprise me,

by bringing a new kind of joy to my day,

every time I see you.


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Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

New Year, New Me

I am living life backwards,

back,

unwelcome,

a mistress to my memories,

who will only see me discreetly,

under the cover of darkness.

Tell me,

why do fools fall in love,

with the days they’ll never see again?

Why am I wandering,

moonlit and miserable?

img_2352

There are fireworks frolicking in the sky,

the stars painted like a rainbow,

as Big Ben sings to the city,

that we made it through another year,

and I am furious,

at an inanimate object,

that is only doing his job,

and telling me the time,

because I’m not ready to sleep,

when I know tomorrow will be waiting,

as I awake.

img_2353

The daylight is cruel,

dancing in the distance,

further and further away,

every time I take a breath,

but the night is pushing me towards my next step,

ignoring my ill fitting heels,

and general reluctance.

I am clinging to the pavement,

praying for the world to stop spinning,

bells to be blissfully still and silent,

so I can hold on to the night a little longer,

but night can never take me back,

and I can tell by the way the day avoids me,

that day doesn’t want me either.



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Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Personal, Writing

I Drove You Crazy

I didn’t plan to spend so much time,

inside your mind.

Sweet sailor valentine,

dressed up in denim,

and your mother’s money,

precocious brocialist baby boy,

that I just couldn’t resist.

I never meant to mean so much,

just summer love,

or something to study,

but there I was,

traipsing through your mind.

It was just the summer.

My own was somewhere else,

sometimes,

when we kissed,

under sing song stars.

You complained about my expensive and excessive lipgloss,

and I made a mental note,

to punish you forever,

but,

you must understand,

I never meant like this.

I never meant to mean so much,

because I thought we were pretend,

so I was unaware of why you started to cry,

when I called you,

offering homework help,

and liquorice.

It was just liquorice. 

I never meant to move in to your mind.

I never meant to mean so much.

You must understand,

I didn’t think I had the right,

but,

still,

I dove inside,

and drove you crazy,

so you say.

I never meant to mean so much.


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