Send me stillness.
Quiet piano and the sound of the wind.
Don’t play too loud.
Don’t play at all.
No movement,
no more moments of panic,
just seconds of stillness.
Stability.
Echoes of my nightmares,
fading with every second,
until all I can hear is the air,
asking how I’m doing,
soft rain in the gutter,
undisturbed train tracks,
telling me how good it is to be alive and alone.
I tell them about my heart and all her troubles,
my madness,
my inability to fall in love without becoming Jodi Arias.
She is sympathetic (and maybe a little scared),
smiling and silent,
and I think that sometimes,
that is all I need.
Just a little stillness.
Just a little silence.
Just a little stability.
Just to step on the ground and not feel it moving, for once.
I want to stay,
but my voice is still,
and my eyes are drowning.