Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

Politics and History

I kept my eyes steady,
up ahead,
drinking honey by the handful,
howling internally when our hands met,
because I was burning,
in the most unpleasant fashion,
and I never said,
to save your feelings,
I just kissed you,
to keep my mouth from screaming.

I was pulled in two directions,
tired arms and lonely legs,
not yours anymore,
tarnished and torn apart,
by some words that I said,
and some lies that I made lonesome,
just like my legs,
as they walked, rather gingerly,
towards the truth.

I dream of you, sometimes,
out of guilt, I think,
because I wanted to be the lie I told you,
because that’s the “normal” way to be,
and you were my favourite hiding place.

I can’t hide anymore. They all know.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

I Was A Bad Mother To My Inner Child

She used to watch the moon from her dimly lit bedroom window,
pretending to sleep,
trying to keep her stories in order,
so that she wouldn’t slip on the shame of her real reflection.

The moon knew the truth,
sending her to sleep with her soothing stare,
the way her own mother would,
if she had been given the chance.
The girl would wake in the morning,
her pillow painted with the pain of her betrayal,
back to the real world,
so unsettled in her own skin, and her own truth.

Sometimes we meet in the moonlight,
as I stare from my window at the bright sky,
never sleeping,
always shaming myself,
even when I say that I’m fine with how I turned out.
I want to tell her to be kinder to herself,
because she’s just a child,
not a monster,
not a deviant,
but we are years apart,
and my pleas are just echos that fade away before they reach her.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

Don’t Draw Me In

Don’t draw me in,
my skin looks terrible in pencil,
and I’d rather be on another page,
in another place.
I was built for another age,
faraway in the future,
where the fractured lands are laughing together,
so don’t wage a war, when I’m just trying to watch TV,
don’t pull my strings and don’t bother me with all this.

If an honest person sees a lie,
are they still honest when they honour their promise to be neutral?
That’s the question I’ve been asking all day,
because I see this guy,
who is somewhere that he shouldn’t be,
and if I speak,
a war starts,
hearts shatter and emotions splatter all over the place,
and I’m asked to place my loyalties somewhere safe,
so they can’t escape and defect,
but you forgot that I’m only loyal to the idea of a quiet life.

Don’t draw me in,
my skin looks terrible in pencil,
don’t make me carry your harried, howling conscience,
when I’m having enough trouble with my own.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Personal, Writing

I Drove You Crazy

I didn’t plan to spend so much time,

inside your mind.

Sweet sailor valentine,

dressed up in denim,

and your mother’s money,

precocious brocialist baby boy,

that I just couldn’t resist.

I never meant to mean so much,

just summer love,

or something to study,

but there I was,

traipsing through your mind.

It was just the summer.

My own was somewhere else,

sometimes,

when we kissed,

under sing song stars.

You complained about my expensive and excessive lipgloss,

and I made a mental note,

to punish you forever,

but,

you must understand,

I never meant like this.

I never meant to mean so much,

because I thought we were pretend,

so I was unaware of why you started to cry,

when I called you,

offering homework help,

and liquorice.

It was just liquorice. 

I never meant to move in to your mind.

I never meant to mean so much.

You must understand,

I didn’t think I had the right,

but,

still,

I dove inside,

and drove you crazy,

so you say.

I never meant to mean so much.


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