Posted in Blog

Thinking

I’m not thinking about it.

I think I have found a happy medium,

where I can go a few minutes,

in total peace,

before starting to break down,

as I recall what I meant to banish.

Posted in Blog

Dream, My Darling

You’ll never learn to be happy,

because you’re happiest when you’re heartbroken.

It just brings something to the surface,

a cynical siren call,

that you can’t resist,

and you will make the same journey,

so many times,

on just a few hours sleep,

and a few cigarettes,

shuttled between scenes that all end the same,

because you’re at your best,

when you’re self destructive.

You’ll never learn to be happy,

but you’ll learn to pretend,

when the situation requires it.

Smiling will always feel unfamiliar,

but you’ll find room in your back pocket,

for a book of excuses,

that explains away the unnatural way you go from distant to dream come true.

I wish I had better news,

but there’s a lot going on,

and you’ll still always feel like everything happens too fast,

that you don’t belong,

that life is better when you live in stasis,

slowly slipping further into sleep,

until it is all you can do.

You may as well,

because you’ll never learn to be happy,

and the world never learns to be exciting enough to keep you awake,

so,

dream,

my darling,

dream.

Posted in Blog, Personal

Carried Away

I made a clean start,

breaking away,

walking through the fire,

I’d waited to light.

I am at home,

with who I become

when I get carried away.

Take me away.

Show me where else my life could go.

I have a forest in my dreams,

where we escape,

and I am excitable,

like a little child,

because life is beginning again,

and I feel alive again,

and I am healing once again,

breathing your ambitions for me,

into my skin.

Maybe you’re just another mistake,

or maybe you’ve always been my path,

and I was just lost before.