Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Personal, Writing

Twenty Two Forever

Twenty two forever,
on the 21st,
crowned by carnations,
late in life prom queen,
balancing along the beams,
of the blue sky.

I hear you call to me,
on your birthday,
on our first day,
on her anniversary,
your mouth still and shut.
Everybody is texting and talking.
We’re alone,
at last.

I fall down,
hoping to hang myself
on your aged arms,
so you can see twenty two again.
Clear and clean,
still dreaming,
daring to dance in dirt,
covered in blood,
but free of bruises and scars,
like you used to be.
Maybe this time,
it will be forever.

I’m still alive,
blue butterfly,
caught in a net,
of lace dresses,
human hair,
hurried heartbeats.

Tell yourself it’s just tonight,
tangled with me,
and my teasing.
We’ll throw the calendar
from the highest floor,
and time will be tempted by our young, dumb smiles,
to leave us in our lace, lust mess.

blue carnations jennifer juan butterfl.jpg

Maybe this time,
we will be together.
Forever.
Together.
Whatever.
Whatever.

It’s hard to talk,
when you kiss me.

My crown is dying,
faster than either of us expected.
I’m thrown from my throne,
to my knees,
caressing your calves,
snaking around your sense of gravity,
still alive,
learning to be a melted ice queen,
who can belong to you,
without feeling I am no longer my own.

Forever.
Together.
Whatever.
Whatever.

It’s hard to think,
when you’re near me.

I’m still alive.
I’m still yours.
I’m still mine.
Twenty two forever.
Alone, at last.
Yours, at last.


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Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Personal, Writing

Loving A Librarian

I don’t love you,
anymore,
you’ll be pleased to know,
but I love to pour over the books,
you stole for me,
page by page,
I am suddenly in Spoons,
chocolate cake and cider,
before class,
texting affection,
our friends got sick of hearing out loud.

old-books

Am I allowed,
to love you a little?
I’ll never see you again,
those pages are drowned,
dripping in who we were,
and how we loved,
as I love you,
just a little.
I can barely read.
I don’t think I want to,
but I hold the ink close,
begging it not to run,
where I can’t follow.
I dry my eyes,
and then,
it’s gone,
again.
I don’t love you,
anymore,
until next time.


Enter The Poetry Competition here

Pre Order “Kissing Boys, Just For The Thrill” here

Order “Stormy Weather” here

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Order “The Things We Did Last Summer” here

Order “Home Wrecker” here

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Listen to “2AM” here

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Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

New Video: Kissing Boys, Just For The Thrill

Hola amigos,

You can now view the video version of my poem “Kissing Boys, Just For The Thrill” from the collection of the same name.

I hope you enjoy it!

Besos,

J x

 


Enter The Poetry Competition here

Order “Kissing Boys, Just For The Thrill” here

Order “Stormy Weather” here

Order “Last Of The Greenwich Glamour Girls” here

Order “The Things We Did Last Summer” here

Order “Home Wrecker” here

Listen to”Past Preston” here

Listen to “2AM” here

RECENT FREE CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
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Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

Staying After School

Valleys,
groves,
hills and fields,
my love,
I heard your name in every one,
every waning whisper of the wind,
as I lay in your lap,
wary but wild,
and you read to me.
I was taken from the ground,
you know,
little girl lost to your gust.

books jennifer juan 2

I must stress,
I was literate before we met,
but under your passionate perception,
my eyes were carefully cut open,
extended,
immensely,
suddenly selfless,
I learned how to read,
with my humble, hungry hands.
You stripped me down,
building back up,
until I was taller than the trees,
where you taught me how to Polish kiss.

books jennifer juan.jpeg

We built nature,
with paper,
after hours,
when the moon was moving closer.
My naked neck,
made for your hook.
A pretty lamb,
and a man who should have known better,
but was too beaten up by life to care.

teacher jennifer juan.jpeg

I fell asleep on roses,
in your coral clasp,
one finger on your lips,
to shush the sheep,
so I wouldn’t awake,
from our forest filled fantasy.
I don’t suppose you ever loved me,
or, I, you,
or maybe we do,
still,
and we just pretend,
so the chasm we created,
doesn’t feel so confining.

rose jennifer juan.jpeg


Enter The Poetry Competition here

Pre Order “Kissing Boys, Just For The Thrill” here

Order “Stormy Weather” here

Order “Last Of The Greenwich Glamour Girls” here

Order “The Things We Did Last Summer” here

Order “Home Wrecker” here

Listen to”Past Preston” here

Listen to “2AM” here

RECENT FREE CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Notes To My Muse
Are You Afraid?
Ladylike

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Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Personal, Writing

Bruised And Blue

“Hey man.”
He says,
knowing I am at home,
where he left me,
a forgotten phone,
or set of keys.

“Are you controlling a woman?”
I wish I were a forgotten phone,
or a set of keys.
I sing lullabies to my legs,
bruised and blue,
we get in the way of his meditation,
or just him in general.
We wait for him to come home.

“I could lose my temper, sometimes.”
He says,
knowing that I will never know when,
or what I’ve done this time,
or how the hell it got to this point.

“As I got older, I really regretted it.”
I sing lullabies to my legs,
bruised and blue,
so they can’t hear,
each blaring blast,
as he paints me,
a lonely shade of lilac.

“I just left my girlfriend at home.”
He says,
knowing he can explain,
and people will understand,
because we all make mistakes,
and nobody knows my name,
and I’ll just be another anecdote.

“I just left my girlfriend at home
and told her not to leave the house.”
I sing lullabies to my legs,
bruised and blue,
knowing he’s not the only one,
and neither am I.


National Domestic Violence Helpline

Mind – Resources For Domestic Violence

Leeway Support


Enter The Poetry Competition here

Pre Order “Kissing Boys, Just For The Thrill” here

Order “Stormy Weather” here

Order “Last Of The Greenwich Glamour Girls” here

Order “The Things We Did Last Summer” here

Order “Home Wrecker” here

Listen to”Past Preston” here

Listen to “2AM” here

RECENT FREE CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Notes To My Muse
Are You Afraid?
Ladylike

RECENT BLOGS
Release Day
2AM Music Video
Why I Hate Dating In The Modern World

COME FIND ME
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