Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

His Love Scared Me To Death

He told me, a trembling wretch, to be unafraid,
and I was uncomfortable with the request,
despite his gaze, so gentle, giving me some comfort.
He told me that he had overcome the world and all its trouble,
and I couldn’t conceive it.
The smallest things were such a struggle, that the world’s truest troubles were too much to even see clearly.
Still, he insisted, his eyes bright and brimming with unlikely optimism,
his hands held mine and I could feel the harsh winds through the holes left by the life he had lived.

How could he ask me to be unafraid?
How could he ask that of me, with thorns across his forehead and a target on his back?
Couldn’t be see what I was afraid of?
Was persecution a foreign concept to the fool with thorns on his head?
How could he ask me to be reborn, when my soul still felt sullied, despite his sacrifice?
Despite my sacrifice and all the scars that had come with it?
He saw. He saw it all and he still asked.

I had tried to lead the life that impotent, angry men had demanded of me,
fighting back against my own biology and the strange, sweet chemistry that greeted me when she and I would lock eyes across the room…
I gave it all up.
I gazed at the ceiling,
praying to Jesus as a shadow I could not look in the face pawed at my lifeless body.
I would rejoice at balled fists meeting my unwilling flesh from one of them,
because it felt less repulsive than a tender, troubled kiss of another,
and why shouldn’t I be punished?
Wayward winter child with her pudding and her pie,
kissed a girl because she was cursed,
and now everyone is crying,
so why shouldn’t I suffer?
I just stared until the ceiling burst into flames,
the stars bursting into view,
because that is what cursed, unclean girls have to do.

He would be there,
the only man I could stand,
thorns adorning his dark, wavy tresses that were wild in the night’s wind.
He simply said, again, that I should be unafraid.
Speaking to a body that was vacant,
he repeated himself as the stars span around his head,
and I thought for a second that I might be dead
(I might have even wished it),
but I was alive,
sailing through the ceiling,
dressed in pretty clothes as the stars sighed in unison.

I was unafraid.

At last, I was unafraid.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

The Only Man A Girl Can Depend On Is Her Spirit Guide

We’re looking down at the clouds,

hands held,

souls melded,

ocean oracles stare deep into my spirit,

and tell me everything I have ever needed to know.


like a father,

a best friend,

a clean up crew,

all those thankless things,

all the pain I’ve put us through,

but you always stayed true to me,

and here we are,

the same as every night,

looking down on bright, broken clouds,

hands held,

souls melded.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing


In the arms of Morpheus,

I am mollified.

Sweet serenity,

crafting dark adventures,

when the moon reigns,

and the sun hides,

for everyone that we meet.

Pass me a poppy,

let me sing you to sleep,

let us see what awaits,

outside the gates,

of this restrictive realm,

dreaming divine,

without deceit,

sleeping on seeds.

Don’t abandon me,

when I awake,

because you are the shadow,

I spent my life looking for.

Paint me,


for rage,

until I’m beautifully blue,

tempests in my gaze.

Paint me inquisitive,


violently violet,

until the brushes are dry,

and enough time has gone by,

for you to love me,

exactly as you found me.

Let me be your polychrome princess,

let me rest,

in your arms.