Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Personal, Writing

Everybody Out!

Sell me a space in the shadows,
let me live behind a locked door,
surrounded by the sweetness of unspeculative silence.

I care for the kind of quiet that doesn’t guess,
a lush loneliness,
moonlight serenade of stillness.

I am sleeping in the dreams of somebody else tonight,
littered with letters,
sewn onto my skin,
because I stopped being convincing, somewhere in my second act,
according to some of my harshest critics.

Now, the stage is bare.
I sleepwalk as the audience screams,
so many crossed voices and contradictory phrases.
All of the things I was supposed to be to all people,
spill around my shaking legs,
and I am submerged.

Who am I?
What am I?
What I am, is “not ready”.
Is that an option?
Can I find that on a form that I can fill in and pass to the furious crowd?

Is that such a crime?
It there a set time in which I must be presented,
centre stage, ready to be torn to pieces with a smile?

I am not ready,
but they are waiting.
Sell me a space in the shadows,
let me live behind a locked door,
surrounded by the sweetness of unspeculative silence.

They storm the stage,
accusations and assumptions circling angry expressions,
and all I can do is stumble towards the back of the bare stage,
begging for mercy,
because I am not ready,
and I don’t know what they want from me,
but they are so… hungry.

Posted in Creative Writing, Writing

Daisy Chains

Glittery cigarette,

laying on my lips,

mixing drinks with the moon,

on the soft sand.

Call me your Queen,

raging waves, our new homeland,

late night lollipops,

setting sun, wandering hands.

Golden eyes, watching you,

from my daisy chains,

wrapped around my wrist,

and the waist you claim.

Bluebells, baby,

maybe I could change,

strip myself of the scars,

maybe you could tame me.

Glittery cigarette,

laying on my lips,

I might let you replace it,

if the moon says so.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Personal, Writing

A Wish

A wish.

Wistful and unexpected,

welcome at the right time,

reaching out to reign me in,

so I am safe again.


some kind of happiness,

hidden away,

until it rains,

and I need to be warm and dry,

a new life,

jumping off the edge,

into unknown depths.

Life is stubborn,



Life is such an elusive lover,

no matter how many times

I try to be faithful.

I inherit confidence,

and influence,

from the women I have been,

on days where I was wistful,

unexpected and untroubled.

My heart is heavy,



but I feel the future could be kind.

I want the future to be kind.

I want my wishes to be mine.




Posted in Blog, Personal

Carried Away

I made a clean start,

breaking away,

walking through the fire,

I’d waited to light.

I am at home,

with who I become

when I get carried away.

Take me away.

Show me where else my life could go.

I have a forest in my dreams,

where we escape,

and I am excitable,

like a little child,

because life is beginning again,

and I feel alive again,

and I am healing once again,

breathing your ambitions for me,

into my skin.

Maybe you’re just another mistake,

or maybe you’ve always been my path,

and I was just lost before.


Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

1 Day

Maybe I hold onto you,

long after you’ve left,

so that I’ll always feel you’re mine,

never having to accept that I’ll lose you again.

It’s easier to ignore the reality,

of life and it’s sickening cruelty,

if I just close my eyes,

hearing my inner monologue in your voice,

kinder tones,

kinder times,

no suitcase in the hallway,

just two pairs of shoes,

that know,

deep in their soles,

that they are soulmates.

There are knocks on my door,

a frightening thunder,

that gets closer,

the further you get,

I barricade,

with each thing that you said,

because though I could let them in,

and be loved,

at long last,

they would never be you.