Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Personal, Writing

Yet Another Angsty Thought About My Tarot Cards

You ask me,
as always,
what I’m looking for,
as I look at life,
with a mix of inconsolable indifference,
and disastrous despair,
when I look at you,
of course.
I roll the eyes you adore,
at your question,
time is precious,
like my diamonds,
and the little dignity I have left.

I left you once,
without telling you,
silently slipping away,
in my mind,
severing the ties,
that you had sweet talked onto waiting wrists,
but soon,
I was back,
bubbling over,
bubblegum pink love hearts,
surrounding the apples of my cheeks,
when you said my name,
and my resolve to be mine again,
slipped out of reach.

You ask me,
as always,
why I need to read the stars.
Your eyes go green,
when you see my hands upon my cards,
thinking I cannot love you,
the way I say I do,
if I am unsure and anxious.
Maybe life is full of absolutes,
and I’m just too committed,
to being non committal,
that I can’t find it within myself,
to see life as realistically and rigidly as you do,
but it has always been you,
even when I couldn’t see you.
I fucked up with them,
because I was made for you,
I didn’t fit with them,
because I was made for you.

I was made for you,
my eyes chosen,
colour frozen and strong,
for your taste,
arms longing to belong to your embrace,
and even my constant craving for clues,
from the sky and universe,
is fated for you,
though you can’t see yet,
because you are still adjusting to this love,
as I do too.

You ask me,
as always,
and I never answer,
but you always know.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

Sincerely, Jennifer x – S04E09 – Boxing Day Sales Are A Scam, But These 2020 Predictions Are Super Legit!

On today’s episode, Jennifer talks about her relationship with her work, why Boxing Day sales are a scam, finding her way out of a damaging and dangerous relationship, and finding her way into a healing and beautiful one.

She also gives you the low down on what could be happening for you in 2020, with an interactive pick a card reading of your future.

You can find the new episode on your favourite podcast provider here, and you can find the episode guide for Sincerely, Jennifer x here.

Season 4


J x

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Posted in Beauty, Blog, Lifestyle, Personal

What’s In My Bag? + Learning A New Language!

Whatsinmybagjenniferjuan final

So, I’ve never done a post like this before, primarily because I keep nothing of interest in my bag. Up until recently, I didn’t even HAVE an interesting bag. However, I got the idea from Fran’s excellent post on blog ideas, and figured I may as well give it a go.

My bag was an effort to keep things practical, while still having a bag that represents me. While I’m not actually a cat, no matter how much I enjoy naps and giving presents nobody wants (always bad box sets, never dead birds, I promise), I try to live a fun and carefree life when I can, and a cat themed backpack spoke to me on that level, which is why I was thrilled to get it for Christmas. It also has ears. Who doesn’t want a bag with ears? It also has a lot of room and is durable, but I thought you might be more interested in the ears. I know I was.

The Star Trek playing cards may seem an odd choice, especially when you consider I don’t know how to play any card games. However, they are beautifully designed, featuring all the original series favourites (before JJ Abrams got his hands on them, more on that if I ever blog when angry), but they are perfect for something I recently discovered. I don’t know if I mentioned it, but I recently (January is still recent to me..) saw a psychic, and I found the whole thing so interesting that I decided I wanted to know more. I’ve used horoscope apps, much to the display of everyone who looks through my phone and says “you believe in this crap?” for years, but I had never attempted to tell my own fortune, until now. As it all turns out, this can be done with playing cards, and so I keep them with me so I can practice, memorise what each card means and occasionally find out what is waiting for me around the corner.

This Royal Jelly body lotion was part of a set from Boots, that was originally a present (occasionally I do well in that department), and looked so nice, just from the packaging that I got a second set for myself. It has a beautiful scent and leaves my skin feeling soft and refreshed, and I am heartbroken that I can’t find it at Boots any more.

My keys are pretty essential, I suppose. They aren’t even fancy. My bad.

Tesco’s Pro Formula Handgel has a lot that I can get behind. It’s green. I like green. It promises clean hands without water and delivers, and includes moisturisers to minimise the risk of dry hands. It’s a win win thing, really. Clean, not dry hands, with a cool, green goopy thing. What’s not to like. Also, it doesn’t feel sticky, it just looks like it should.

Maybelline’s Colorsensational Cocoa Fever Lipgloss is my favourite lip gloss at the moment, as you can tell by how used it looks! It gives a great shine to the lips, and isn’t too heavy. It has an unmistakable and delicious cocoa scent, and is long lasting, making it my perfect gloss.

Now, I have to be honest, I have no idea where my purse is from. I’ve had it for a while, and it has all kinds of stuff inside, and I suppose if I had looked hard enough, I could find out where it was from, but I didn’t so I can’t. Again, my bad.

Learning A New Language Jennifer Juan

The contents of my bag are not the only exciting thing on my blog today (please let me at least have a moment before telling me the bag wasn’t exciting, I beg of you), because I have decided to learn a new language!

It is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but I kept putting it off and telling myself I didn’t have the time. I was looking for something that would remove those excuses and give me the motivation to learn and I found that with Duolingo.

For those that don’t know, I spend roughly three hours of my day, every week day commuting on public transport to work, and while I often fill that time with writing, reading and Sonic Dash (the choice of the grown up commuter with a grudge against adulthood and excellent tapping skills), I realised an app like Duolingo could fit in perfectly.

So far, I’m a few lessons into my course on Esperanto, which I decided on after researching all the languages offered, and discovering that William Shatner once starred in an Esperanto language horror film, that I’ve made it my mission to watch, without subtitles one day.

I’ll let you know how it goes, and maybe one day, I’ll be writing to you in Esperanto.


J x


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