Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

What I Will Tell My Son About COVID-19

My eyes are staring back at me,

inquisitive and destined for exploration.

They want an explanation,

help with homework,

because a hellish phase of my life has now become history,

and I am a book,

as well as a chef,

so as I make dinner,

I don’t deny my curious companion the answers.

“Madre…”

The water simmers softly around the pasta,

a tiny hand,

that was once much smaller,

shyly pulls on my dress.

“What was the war on COVID like?”

Of course, it becomes a war,

because Britain cannot face its past,

without overdramatising.

“Overwhelming.”

My eyes meet mine again,

wide and wondering,

as I continue a lecture I still don’t feel qualified to deliver.

“I went walking in the park every day.”

He wants more.

“Your uncle made a lot of cakes.”

More, Madre.

“Grandma got a dog.”

I don’t tell him that I went to the park,

just to weep for what I was losing,

money,

my mind,

months at a time,

just wandering in the darkness,

waiting for relief that would never come.

I don’t tell him that the cakes came to pass,

because his uncle found me,

tear stained in the bathroom,

and he thought that filling my mouth with sweet treats,

would stop me saying I couldn’t stand life any longer.

I don’t tell him that grandma got a dog,

because she was locked away,

for far too long,

and she needed noise,

some warmth inside the quiet walls she called home.

I tell him about the singalongs,

weekly wailing applause,

zoom quizzes,

work from home sleep ins,

fighting back giggle fits,

when my first Covid test made my nose ticklish,

and the absurd exhilaration that his uncle and I felt,

when McDonalds was finally back on Ubereats.

I gently tell him of the loss,

how I was lucky to keep hold of each piece of my heart,

I let him imagine some of the drama,

so he can think of me as a hero,

but I never really tell him about lost,

lonely nights,

sleepless and never ending,

hospitals that became hell,

every night on the news,

pleading with the windows that stood between hearts to disappear,

how he was lucky to keep hold of his ability to exist,

because I almost lost mine.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

Sincerely, Jennifer x – S05E05 – In Which Jennifer Is Kidnapped

On today’s episode, Jennifer shares some new poems, and talks about being kidnapped, the struggle to be self sufficient and what happens when your heart doesn’t work the same way as everybody else’s.

Jennifer also updates you on recent events in British politics, including Angela Rayner’s PMQs debut, the chaos of the child maintenance service, and Boris Johnson’s difficult struggles with real life.

You can find the new episode on your favourite podcast provider here, and you can find the episode guide for Sincerely, Jennifer x here.

Season 4

Besos,

J x



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Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

Sincerely, Jennifer x – S05E04 – Breaking International Podcast Law, In A Very Specific and Limited Way

On today’s episode, Jennifer shares some new poems, and talks about the truth behind one of her older poems, nostalgia, feeling peaceful, and her latest romantic adventures.

Jennifer also updates you on recent events in British politics, including UKIP’s leadership drama, the continuing mess that is Scottish Labour, and why breaking international law is totally in right now.

You can find the new episode on your favourite podcast provider here, and you can find the episode guide for Sincerely, Jennifer x here.

Season 4

Besos,

J x



Read My Books

Hear My Music

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RECENT FREE CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
In The Garden Of The Free Children
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Posted in Blog

Dream, My Darling

You’ll never learn to be happy,

because you’re happiest when you’re heartbroken.

It just brings something to the surface,

a cynical siren call,

that you can’t resist,

and you will make the same journey,

so many times,

on just a few hours sleep,

and a few cigarettes,

shuttled between scenes that all end the same,

because you’re at your best,

when you’re self destructive.

You’ll never learn to be happy,

but you’ll learn to pretend,

when the situation requires it.

Smiling will always feel unfamiliar,

but you’ll find room in your back pocket,

for a book of excuses,

that explains away the unnatural way you go from distant to dream come true.

I wish I had better news,

but there’s a lot going on,

and you’ll still always feel like everything happens too fast,

that you don’t belong,

that life is better when you live in stasis,

slowly slipping further into sleep,

until it is all you can do.

You may as well,

because you’ll never learn to be happy,

and the world never learns to be exciting enough to keep you awake,

so,

dream,

my darling,

dream.

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

Sincerely, Jennifer x – S04E35 – Dropping names, for the drama! Featuring Lana Del Rey, Princess Margaret and Dominic Cummings…

On today’s episode, Jennifer shares some new poems, and talks about self sufficiency, writing in quarantine, discovering The Crown on Netflix, relating to the royal family, and the telenovela that is Lana Del Rey’s Instagram feed.

Jennifer also updates you on the recent events in British politics, including the government’s reversal on NHS surcharges for NHS workers, the collapse of Rishi Sunak’s fandom, and the comings and goings of Dominic Cummings.

You can find the new episode on your favourite podcast provider here, and you can find the episode guide for Sincerely, Jennifer x here.

Season 4

Besos,

J x



Read My Books

Hear My Music

Hear My Podcast

RECENT FREE CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
In The Garden Of The Free Children
Virgin Vogue
Sad Girl’s Love Song

COME FIND ME
Twitter
Soundcloud
Instagram
Ask Jen

Facebook
Patreon

Tumblr
Amazon

Podcast
Spotify

YouTube
Rumbl
Email Me