Dating, and new writing

Hola amigos,

I hope you’ve been well. I’ve been very busy, going on quite a few dates… with myself. I’ve been single for a while, to be honest, I’d like to be for a bit longer, but I missed things like going to dinner, or seeing a movie, and initially, I thought it would be lonely to do it by myself, but actually, there are a lot of benefits.

For a start, I’m paying for everything myself, so there is no pressure to give anything back (financially or otherwise)for the drinks or the dinner, and I can also wear what I want without there being a sense of entitlement from someone else, because I’m the only one there!

I can also get an ice blast at the cinema, and nobody can tell me that adults shouldn’t have them, because I’m the only one there and I don’t care.

I’ve been on quite a few cinema trips lately, and rediscovered how enjoyable it can be just to sit, and be absorbed by the universe of someone else’s creation. I normally watch movies alone, but I’m big on multi tasking, so I’ll be writing while watching, which can be a little distracting. A major upside to watching a movie alone, and without distractions is that I can see whatever I want. I spent a lot of time when in relationships having to compromise, because most people aren’t interested in horror movies, and mentioning subtitles would send most of my exes running for the hills, so it’s nice to be able to watch things I’m actually interested in.

In other news, below is some new work I’ve finished. I hope you enjoy it!

Besos,

J x


baby steps jennifer juan

No Idea Why

£19.92

Follow

The Two I’s

Damien’s Lament

Baby Steps

Before You

Told You

Freak

White Cliffs Of Dover

Straw

Yearbook

-x-

No Idea Why

I looked up, back down.

I’m fascinated by the fear that frequents our moments together.

No idea why.

I took a step, silent, ran back.

No.

I’m cornered by my curiosity, for the way that you could love me.

I’ve no idea why.

You shy away, just like me, though our hearts have done marathons.

One wrong move from a nervous mouth can ruin a good thing I suppose.

No idea why.

-x-

£19.92

Kicks away the blankets,

still covered with the prints of her producers,

her days are caught in crying,

because she belongs to the songs she sold her soul for,

the melodies are mocking,

and though the crowds sustain her day to day,

she is only alive,

at the edge of death.

-x-

Follow

Anything to be with you.

I’ll go where the trail of your heart desires,

melting at my core,

on an endless exploration.

Anything to burn with you.

Show me the jaw of the jungle,

let me sleep in it’s swallow,

axed by the acid that awaits me.

I’m not afraid,

to die for our journey,

lost to your longing for the universe.

Anything to breathe with you.

Take me to the highest point,

to the ends of the earth,

and into the sun,

to burn up,

at the very thought of you.

-x-

The Two I’s 

My hands are dead,

done with drawing deeds we never did,

and my heart is hardened,

from hearing what it cannot have.

I’m saved by my sanity,

until it leaves,

through the same door she did,

then I’m helpless to myself.

She said I was intelligent,

until I was “insane”.

I’m insane enough to wait my life for her,

and intelligent enough to make it art.

-x-

Damien’s Lament

She’s sleeping.

I watch her toss and turn,

my stomach does the same.

I’m sure her eyelids are a work of art,

and her fingertips are fondant fancies,

french tips, fit for my lips.

Her face is lonely,

without my eyes to keep it company,

the wonder of her waking,

is worth the risk of arrest.

-x-

Baby Steps

She stumbles behind us,

running to keep up.

We need to lose her,

so we can lose ourselves.

Nobody knows,

I’m not even sure I do,

but maybe we’ll know,

alone at the lake,

learning to kiss,

and learning to cry.

-x-

Before You

I’ve given up on giving you everything I had.

I’m picking up the pieces that I put on display,

you never understood them,

and you wouldn’t take a step into my gallery.

I glue the girl back together,

though she fights the skirts you sneered at,

and the pink lip you said wasn’t to your taste.

I place it on her mouth,

to decorate the long howls,

and dress her in all she has left.

I still paint by your numbers,

they add up to fuck all,

I have more troubles,

than your approval,

but I seek it,

every second.

I’m busy rebuilding the girl you left behind,

and the girl she was,

before you.

-x-

Told You

I told you I’m a liar,

but you didn’t believe a word I said.

You told me I was the only one for you,

and I told you I wasn’t for anybody.

Just say it if you want to,

and maybe I’ll figure it out along the way.

Spell it out, say syllables,

because I never learned to read.

Love me if you want to,

I won’t think any less.

I don’t really think at all,

but maybe that could change.

-x-

Freak

She’s uneasy on her feet,

and harsh on the world.

Her head is in the past,

that stabs and stands above,

no matter where she runs.

Would you believe her,

if she said a heart,

was fighting,

under that freak in teal?

-x-

The White Cliffs Of Dover

I’m on a cliff,

and on the sea floor,

in a moment,

if I want it.

I don’t hear Vera,

or love, or laughter,

just waves and wind,

and the rushing of my stillness.

Erode me to the air,

or save me from myself,

right now, it doesn’t matter,

and neither does what led me here.

-x-

Straw

He pulls on my hair,

he pulls on my nerves.

He presses his lips to the straw in his hand,

and all over again, I’m envious of inanimate objects.

My heels removed,

I’m a girl again.

I am blushy, I am mushy,

and I’m disgusted by my desire for him.

He’s drinking again,

as I drink him in.

I’m euphoric, and pathetic,

and I know that he loves it.

He touches my heart,

my hands and my lashes.

The world has stopped,

and only he can make it start again.

-x-

Yearbook

Voted most likely

to steal your elderly husband,

in my high school yearbook,

‘Cause I’m a vampire for vintage,

and I need that stale sweet blood.

I need some seasoned love,

because tomorrow’s man,

doesn’t factor into my future.

I want a face and heart,

with character,

and an earth of experience,

to impact upon my sun.

-x-


RECENT CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Darling, Desperate, Dismal Girl
Amor, Amor

Always The Mistress, Never The Mrs


RECENT UPCOMING COLLECTION PREVIEWS
“The Two I’s” from Baby Steps
“Baby Back There” from Ours

“Window Shop” from Ours

“Beach Walk” from Ours

RECENT BLOGS
Thought Provoking Stories In Your Horror Movies? It’s More Likely Than You’d Think!
Get To Know Me 🙂

Things About Rings


COME FIND ME
Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen
Facebook
Patreon
Tumblr

Advertisements

One thought on “Dating, and new writing

  1. You mentioning watching movies and writing along because multi tasking made me think again what I’m using movies for recently. Because in our distraction flooded society, one time I noticed that I found it hard to concentrate on a full movie from start to finish. And it happens elsewhere: writing a text but actually tweeting, googling, youtubing along. And what could have been finished within one hour takes four. So, I’m now using movies or episodes from series to fully concentrate, follow the story and only think about the very movie for as long as it lasts. I wouldn’t say, it really works since I’ve just started recently. But I think it might be futile for my writing.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s