Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Personal, Writing

Planting Roses

No bars to break,

but here I am,

surrounded by searching space,

a prisoner,

encased in ivy,

that I have imagined,

grew side by side,

with the roses we planted.

 

 

I never knew my charge,

but I was sentenced to be sped,

back to the real world,

on several delayed trains,

with barely there air conditioning,

and piece by piece,

I felt each flower fall,

all around me.

 

 

The empty, invisible walls tell tales,

and I can’t tell which voice is yours,

anymore,

because the rain still falls,

and the wind still wails,

but I’m not sure they’re really there.

I’m not sure where it hurts,

I just know that it does,

and I know why it does,

even if that isn’t “proper science”.

 

I don’t know if you’ll wait for me,

or how long you’d have to wait,

but I know I need you to.

I remember this kind of crying,

thirteen,

Hastings beach,

knowing my world wouldn’t fit into a quaint country village,

not just the bright lights,

I had dreamed of,

for as long as I knew how to dream,

but a love.

I wanted a love,

that I couldn’t yet describe,

and maybe never could.

 

 

Again,

twenty three,

pausing at Preston,

with my heart in my throat,

poking it’s way out,

with razor blades and regret,

knowing it had found the love,

but not the words,

to explain how essential it was.

 

 

It never ends,

it only eases,

until it doesn’t,

and then,

I am back behind bars,

that cannot be broken,

by anything but,

freedom to be locked away,

planting roses,

with you,

and watching your excited eyes,

as we we wait for them to grow.

 

img_1926.jpg

I could walk away,

at any second,

out the door,

into the sunset,

under a train,

but with each step,

the chains of my choice,

and the punishment it brings others,

would grow heavier,

until my legs broke,

and my torso wept.

 

 

Give me rain,

or sun,

or death.

Give me some way,

to make each moment just a moment,

rather than a reminder,

that I have a life,

and a job,

and a whole realm of responsibilities,

that don’t include planting roses,

with you,

and watching your excited eyes,

as we we wait for them to grow.

 

 

Give me hope,

that one day,

I will find a time,

when I can survive on the inside,

and see it more as the outside,

real life,

my life,

without you.

 

 

Tell me that I’ll survive,

even if you’re lying,

or,

better yet,

lie down,

keep my side of the bed warm,

rain roses from the roof,

petals,

settled in the sheets,

growing strong under bright lights,

waiting for me to make parole.

 

 

I’ve found the words now.


Enter The Poetry Competition here

Order “Kissing Boys, Just For The Thrill” here

Order “Stormy Weather” here

Order “Last Of The Greenwich Glamour Girls” here

Order “The Things We Did Last Summer” here

Order “Home Wrecker” here

Listen to”Past Preston” here

Listen to “2AM” here

RECENT FREE CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
What Ever Happened To Baby Jen?
Notes To My Muse
Are You Afraid?

RECENT BLOGS
Release Day
2AM Music Video
Why I Hate Dating In The Modern World

COME FIND ME
Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen
Facebook
Patreon
Tumblr
Amazon
Podcast
Spotify
YouTube

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Personal, Writing

Parma Violet Prince

Opium,

under my skin,

soaked into my soul,

slightly sweet,

supernaturally seductive.

 

My parma violet prince,

on the air,

my mind,

my lips,

nestled in my neediest nights,

when I creep down the stair case,

sniffing and sighing,

like a mad woman.

You are my affliction,

addiction,

obsession,

conviction.

I am handcuffed to heaven,

living in violent,

violet,

vintage.

 

I am driven to distraction,

destitution,

and desire,

by your slightly sweet,

supernaturally seductive scent.


Enter The Poetry Competition here

Order “Kissing Boys, Just For The Thrill” here

Order “Stormy Weather” here

Order “Last Of The Greenwich Glamour Girls” here

Order “The Things We Did Last Summer” here

Order “Home Wrecker” here

Listen to”Past Preston” here

Listen to “2AM” here

RECENT FREE CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
What Ever Happened To Baby Jen?
Notes To My Muse

Are You Afraid?

RECENT BLOGS
Release Day
2AM Music Video
Why I Hate Dating In The Modern World

COME FIND ME

Twitter

Instagram
Ask Jen

Facebook
Patreon

Tumblr
Amazon

Podcast
Spotify

YouTube

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Personal, Writing

Pepsi Cola

Just when I thought it was over,
melancholy under the moon,
I decided I was tired of missing you,
so I tore off my clothes,
my past,
and sank into silk sheets,
ready for one last drink,
before bidding goodbye,
to my dreams of you.
Just when I thought it was over,
I choked on my Pepsi cola,
my throat slinking around oxygen,
cobra crush,
crimson cheeks.

Panic.
Panic.
Panic.

pepsi cola jennifer juan 2

I thought I was going to die.
Orchid across your shoulders.
I never meant to see your shoulders.
I fall beneath them,
my eyes sewn shut,
to avoid your own,
but still I cannot resist you.

I thought I was going to die,
and I realised,
the breathlessness,
the helplessness,
the panic.
Panic.
Panic.

It reminded me of when I look at you,
and it was not over.
It would never be over.

I wish I had choked to death.


Enter The Poetry Competition here

Pre Order “Kissing Boys, Just For The Thrill” here

Order “Stormy Weather” here

Order “Last Of The Greenwich Glamour Girls” here

Order “The Things We Did Last Summer” here

Order “Home Wrecker” here

Listen to”Past Preston” here

Listen to “2AM” here

RECENT FREE CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Notes To My Muse
Are You Afraid?
Ladylike

RECENT BLOGS
Release Day
2AM Music Video
Why I Hate Dating In The Modern World

COME FIND ME
Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen
Facebook
Patreon
Tumblr
Amazon
Podcast
Spotify
YouTube

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Personal, Writing

Loving A Librarian

I don’t love you,
anymore,
you’ll be pleased to know,
but I love to pour over the books,
you stole for me,
page by page,
I am suddenly in Spoons,
chocolate cake and cider,
before class,
texting affection,
our friends got sick of hearing out loud.

old-books

Am I allowed,
to love you a little?
I’ll never see you again,
those pages are drowned,
dripping in who we were,
and how we loved,
as I love you,
just a little.
I can barely read.
I don’t think I want to,
but I hold the ink close,
begging it not to run,
where I can’t follow.
I dry my eyes,
and then,
it’s gone,
again.
I don’t love you,
anymore,
until next time.


Enter The Poetry Competition here

Pre Order “Kissing Boys, Just For The Thrill” here

Order “Stormy Weather” here

Order “Last Of The Greenwich Glamour Girls” here

Order “The Things We Did Last Summer” here

Order “Home Wrecker” here

Listen to”Past Preston” here

Listen to “2AM” here

RECENT FREE CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Notes To My Muse
Are You Afraid?
Ladylike

RECENT BLOGS
Release Day
2AM Music Video
Why I Hate Dating In The Modern World

COME FIND ME
Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen
Facebook
Patreon
Tumblr
Amazon
Podcast
Spotify
YouTube

Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Writing

Late Night Interlude

You tell me love is grand,
acting grand,
by your grand piano,
and I sing along,
to each song that you play,
along each inch of my body,
when we’re alone.

The night is old,
barely breathing,
as morning crawls closer.
You play on,
I sing along,
we play cotton covered chords,
under the stars.

vintage-piano jennifer juan

Ven conmigo,
mi amor.
Beso.
Beso.
Beso.

I’m so awake.
It’s all over.
It always was.
I always was,
for you,
for you.
Beso.
Beso.
Beso.
What’s a girl to do?
Lost,
in the beat,
of your boudoir bars,
singing along,
to your late night interlude.


Enter The Poetry Competition here

Pre Order “Kissing Boys, Just For The Thrill” here

Order “Stormy Weather” here

Order “Last Of The Greenwich Glamour Girls” here

Order “The Things We Did Last Summer” here

Order “Home Wrecker” here

Listen to”Past Preston” here

Listen to “2AM” here

RECENT FREE CREATIVE WRITING COLLECTIONS
Notes To My Muse
Are You Afraid?
Ladylike

RECENT BLOGS
Release Day
2AM Music Video
Why I Hate Dating In The Modern World

COME FIND ME

Twitter
Instagram
Ask Jen
Facebook
Patreon
Tumblr
Amazon
Podcast
Spotify
YouTube